


Nicely Done

by Weavillain



Category: The Loud House (Cartoon)
Genre: Drama, Family, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-13
Updated: 2017-12-13
Packaged: 2019-02-14 05:26:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 28,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13000800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weavillain/pseuds/Weavillain
Summary: When Lynn believes that Lincoln thinks of her, Lori, Luan, Lola, and Lisa as his "mean sisters", she conspires with the other four about what they should do about her discovery.





	1. Chapter 1

Lynn sighed, giving up after checking under her bed for the thirty-second time since waking up on what _would've_ been a pleasant Saturday. She'd just have to face facts; her earbuds were long gone. She could've sworn she had them right on her drawer, underneath her green baseball cap. So, how could a pair of earbuds just grow legs and decide to leave on sabbatical in the middle of the night?

She didn't know and quite frankly, she didn't care. All she knew was that she _needed_ those earbuds. How else was she supposed to listen to her music while she pounded the punching bag out back? What else but her music could push her to go the extra mile as she strained against the weight of her 30lb dumbbells? Sure, it wasn't as if she _had_ to use them, but nothing drove her to go the extra mile quite like pumping her galvanizing beats straight through her ear canals, spurring latent zest that even she didn't know she was capable of.

She groaned again, flinging herself onto her bed as her inability to find her precious earbuds weighed on her mind, a heavy fog that clouded her vision into a tunnel focus towards one, solitary course: her earbuds. Again, she _needed_ those earbuds. She had to… _no_.

A smile formed as she lifted her face off her pillow. She didn't need _those_ earbuds, per se. She just needed _a_ pair.

And she knew just where to get one.

* * *

"Yo, Linc, you in there?! I need a favor from you!"

Lynn frowned at the lack of a reply after waiting patiently for a full fifteen seconds. Prior to shouting, she had knocked on his door several times and that had proven to be just as unsuccessful. Lincoln was never this slow to answer the door, especially with her. As far as Lynn could tell, either Lincoln had gone deaf (probably from listening to music to loudly with _his_ earbuds) or…

"Huh. Guess he's not in his room," Lynn decided after realizing that Lincoln would never be as irresponsible as the former suggestion implied. "He's probably nerdin' it out with Clyde at his house. Oh well, I guess that means that I'll have to borrow his earbuds and bring 'em back later."

As her fingers curled around the doorknob, she could practically hear the nagging voice of her brother lecturing her about not entering his bedroom without getting his permission first. She brought it to heel by mentally firing back that he needed to stop crying like a baby over a "breach of privacy" and that she'd be gone before he knew it.

Once she opened the door, she moseyed in without further deliberation and made her way to his bed. What better place to start than under his pillow?

She mumbled under her breath, as she blindly combed, "Earbuds, earbuds, earbu-" She paused when her fingers gripped the familiar fabric of an elastic waistband and she pulled her hand away in disgust, knowing what her fingers had found. "Ah, come on!" Touching her little brother's tighty-whities was _not_ a pleasant experience. Once this was over, she was taking at _least_ two showers.

Next came the underside of the bed, but her three minute-expedition proved just as fruitless.

On the desk? Just some pencils and a few sketches of some dorky-looking guy in spandex.

By his books? Other than a woeful lack of any sports almanacs or athlete biographies, there was nothing of note to be discovered.

Underneath his heap of dirty clothes under his desk? She wasn't about to revisit that icky feeling of weaving her fingers through her brother's nasty underwear, so that was out of the question entirely.

She sat on his chair, leaning back as her thoughts were racing to exhume some nook or cranny that she hadn't accounted for. Was there some sort of secret, "anti-sister" compartment that he had installed that she wasn't considering? Something akin to a bookshelf that flipped around if one removed a certain book? Maybe a safe that locked away all his "treasures?" Or perhaps, he…

She slapped her forehead in self-reprimand when her fanciful thoughts finally stopped denying her of the next plausible place to look. "Duh. The drawer."

Pulling it open, she used her eyes to scan through the contents rather than rummaging through with her hands.

"Comic book, comic book, pencils, comic book, candy wrapper, comic book, action figure, comic book…" She sighed and gave her head a condescending shake. "Geez, Lincoln, pick up a sports magazine every once and a while, would you?"

She let out a groan when the drawer, her last bid, bore another disappointing outcome. But, just as she was about to close the drawer, the far-left corner caught her eye when she spotted what looked like a crumpled-up piece of paper nestled between a pencil case and a stack of collectible trading cards.

"What's that?"

The right-minded approach would've been to simply shut the drawer, forgetting about the paper entirely.

So, of course, Lynn chose to be obtrusive as she grabbed the paper and held it up to her face as she unraveled it.

"Maybe it's a list of all the girls he's crushing on," Lynn said as she smoothed out as many of the wrinkles as she possible could. She laughed to herself at the thought of her little brother having such a list.

Her chuckling ceased when her eyes scanned over the first word. What followed was a trek of self-denial as each subsequent word painted a portrait; a dreaded image that chilled her blood and knocked her for a loop by the time she had finished reading the note.

By now, her heart hammered painfully against her chest and her jaw was clenched as her lips were drawn in a thin line that slightly quivered.

Despite knowing that she wasn't dreaming, she read it again. When she did, she suddenly remembered where she was and what she was doing. Guilt flooded through her as she hopped off the chair like a scolded dog, crumpled up the note in her fist, and fled the scene.

She didn't know where Lori, Luan, Lola, and Lisa were, but she needed to find them. _Fast_.

* * *

Lori asked her questions without looking up from his cellphone. There wasn't much about the basement to look at anyway. "Alright, Lynn, what's going on? Why'd you want us down here?"

Lynn, who was in the middle of the room, was rebuffed before she could answer.

"And just _us_ , might I add?" Lisa asked from her seat on the bottom step. "The circumstances of your request don't make much sense at face value."

A creepy grin spread across her face, a sight that only Luan was unfortunate enough to notice. "Unless, of course, you've all conceded to the authority of my genius and wish to solemnly pledge your minds and bodies to my experiments with nary a complaint."

"In your dreams, Lis," Luan said. "There's no way I'd ever ask for that. Science and I, we just don't have a lot of _chemistry_." A hearty laugh and a "Get it?" followed her pun, which everyone else groaned at.

Lori finished up her text conversation with Becky in favor of turning her phone off and finally regarding her surroundings for more than just a quick, passing glance. Her eyes immediately fell to Lola, who was lackadaisically sitting on the washing machine, swinging her legs around without a care in the world.

"Lola, is there a reason why you're sitting on the washing machine?" Lori asked.

Lola's brows furrowed. "Well duh, Lori. You think I wanna get my dress all dirty from standing on this nasty basement floor?"

Lori didn't see any reason for her to act like a dirty floor was some horrible fate that was imposed on her by happenstance. _She_ had control of her destiny, but she chose to be lazy about preventing anything that would've made her uncomfortable.

She marched over to Lola and stared her down, making a conscious effort to use her full stature for intimidation. "Well, maybe it wouldn't be so dirty if _you_ swept it as clean as Mom and Dad wanted you to yesterday."

She glowered harder when it didn't work.

"Well, maybe if _you_ understood that manual labor is beneath me, _you'd_ have done it instead!" Lola shot back, rising to her feet and baring her gaped teeth.

"Well, maybe if you weren't such a sniveling brat, I _might've_ considered it!"

"Well, maybe if _yoooooooou_ weren't such a-"

"Is this argument necessary?" Lisa asked dryly.

The hot-headed blondes turned to her and shouted, simultaneously, "Shut it, Lisa!"

Lynn didn't need a cue to know when it was time to get herself involved before everyone forgot the reason why they needed to be here in the first place.

"Hey, come on, guys! Focus! This is important!" she shouted.

Lori and Lola exchanged harrumphs and turned away from each other. Lynn grumbled something about annoying sisters getting in the way of progress before she procured that horrid note from her pocket, uncrumpled it, and held it up for everyone to see.

"Take a look at what I found in Lincoln's room," she began. "It's a-"

"Wait." Lynn paused as Luan's remark, and a tonally scathing one at that, caught her off guard. "What were you doing in Lincoln's room? He's not even here."

Lynn rolled her eyes. If Thought-Linc wasn't dressing her down, then here was Luan, getting her squirt flower in a bunch over nothing.

Well, okay, it wasn't _nothing_ , per se, but gosh darn it, this meeting wasn't about her! Get on track, Luan!

"I just wanted to borrow some earbuds from him, and I-"

"Without his permission?" Lola remarked. "Wow, that's not rude at _all_."

Lynn could almost feel her ears pop from all the steam pouring out. "Look, that's not important right now! What's important is that-"

"It literally _is_ important, Lynn," Lori chimed in. "You can't just go into someone's room, rummage through their stuff, and then take their things without permission. Not cool."

_That_ was the straw that broke the camel's back. If Lynn was going to be in the eye of this intervention, she refused to contend with hypocrisy.

She waltzed up to Lori, sizing her up as she held her ground in a firm, arm-folded stance when she closed the distance. "Oh, and I'm sure Leni just let you borrow her clothes when you were trying to woo Clyde?!"

"I-I…well, I…u-um," Pink bloomed across Lori's cheeks, a sight that conflicted with the seriousness of her signature snarl. "T-that was a time of desperation, okay?! Totally not the same thing!"

"I dunno," Luan said, observing the scene with a smirk. "Sounds like the same thing to me."

Lori nearly got whiplash as she turned to face the ponytailed comic. "Oh, who asked you?!"

"Who asked _you_ to be a hypocritical jerk?!" Luan responded, her cheeky smile dissolving as anger rose in her voice.

"Oh yeah?! Who asked _you_ to replace my shampoo with mayonnaise this morning?!"

"It was just a little joke! Learn to take one!"

"I can, but only when they're funny! You might wanna try it sometime!"

They continued to throw barbs at one another, neither of them gaining much traction as their shouting match promised to go on for several hours. Lynn's intervention, which included trying to shout over them to make them stop, only resulted in the cacophony of shouts becoming more jumbled and audible.

Looking on in contempt, Lisa walked over to Lola and gestured for her to cover her ears. When she did so, she took out some earplugs from her pockets, along with an air horn. Fitting her earplugs in place, she shook the can, and pressed down on the nozzle button, eliciting a thundering shriek that caused her three eldest sisters to drop the conversation in favor of nearly jumping out of their skin, grimacing in pain, plugging their ears with their fingers, and giving Lisa a death glare. The noise stopped as soon as Lisa figured that they had had enough.

"Isn't it sad when the _youngest_ of the group is the one who has to restore order?" Lisa said, removing her ear plugs and stuffing them away. She kept the air horn out in case she was required to use it again. "Now then, can we proceed with this impromptu meeting before we derail any further?"

Though her ears were _still_ ringing, Lynn was grateful for Lisa's intervention. Now, she could get hopefully get on with what they all needed to be aware of.

"I found something in Lincoln's drawer," she said and gave the note to Lori. "Read it."

"Yeah, I was going to, genius," Lori said, still seething from everything that had happened in the past four minutes.

Lynn watched Lori's face carefully as she glanced over the wrinkled paper. It didn't take long for her peeved features began to peel apart, one fraction at a time. By the time it had been ten seconds, it was hard to imagine that this was the same Lori that she had been yelling at mere moments ago.

Confusion. Surprise. Hurt. Perhaps, even shame. Any one of those emotions would've fit the bill in Lynn's mind, but maybe it was better to say that Lori felt all four of those things at once. She knew she did when _she_ first read it.

By now, Lisa and Luan were by Lori's side, wondering what was taking Lori so long to just say what was on the paper.

"Well?" Lola demanded impatiently. "What does it say?" She couldn't see Lori's expression to understand her soberness.

Lori nodded mechanically. " **Nice Sisters:** Leni, Luna, Lucy, Lana, Lily…" Lola's snappiness gave way to a concerned look. The words were daunting, but Lori's tone, teetering between bewilderment and despair, was haunting. " **Mean Sisters:** Lori, Luan, Lynn, Lola, Lisa."

After reading off the last name, the basement fell silent, save for the errant noise coming from the boiler and the soft whirring from the washing machine. The stony quiet of the room allowed for introspection that neither sister thought that they needed.

"Wow," Luan said, vocalizing her inner thoughts. "Is that what Lincoln really thinks about us?"

"Of course, he does," Lynn muttered. "It was in his drawer, after all."

Just then, Lynn heard what she could only describe as sniffling; the sort that preluded mournful sobbing. Knowing where it was coming from, Lynn turned around to see Lola doing just as she thought. Lola was known to be a big time drama queen, so seeing her genuinely breaking down was never an enjoyable experience.

"Lola, are you alright?" Lynn asked.

Upon noticing that everyone was looking at her, Lola scrunched up her face in a frown and wiped away at her tear-streaked face. "Of course, I am! Why should I care about some dumb, poopy list?!"

The indignant tone proved to be contagious, snapping Lori out of her melancholy to blurt out an objection of her own as heatedly as Lola.

"And how exactly am I a 'mean sister'?!" Lori fumed. "I'm literally the most patient sister ever!"

"Lori, you give us approximately three minutes and fifteen seconds to get to Vanzilla before you leave us behind to get to school by our own means.," Lisa countered. "That's quite antonymous with the word 'patient'."

Lori looked down to give the scientist a hard, icy glare. "Hey, just because I don't let you guys take me for granted doesn't make me 'mean'. As the oldest, you just gotta put your foot down and lay down the law sometimes."

"And by 'sometimes', I guess you mean 'all the time', right?" Luan retorted, clearly having sore feelings over their verbal spat.

Lori found favor in rolling her eyes instead of snapping back with more rage. "Oh, don't you start with me, shampoo swapper. It's because people like _you_ don't give me a break that I'm 'mean' to begin with, and thanks to that, Lincoln thinks I deserve to be lumped in with the rest of you jerks."

"'Rest of us jerks', huh?!" Lynn shouted.

Sensing that more bedlam would be breaking out, Lola leapt off the washing machine (paying no mind to where she stepped), snatched the air horn out of Lisa's hand, and pressed down on the nozzle after she had made sure to at least cover up one of her ears with her free hand. Once more, the loud, grating noise halted everyone in their tracks as they hurriedly covered their ears and groaned until Lola ceased the noise.

"Enough already! We're not getting anywhere like this!" Lola cried.

Before she could react in time, Luan approached her and snatched the air horn away.

"Seriously, give us a warning before you blast that thing!" she snapped.

"Yeah, no wonder Lincoln thinks you're a 'mean sister'," Lori said without thinking.

She gasped and immediately clamped a hand over her mouth, her cruel words replaying over and over again in her head on a loop. Where the heck did that _come_ from? And more importantly, what sick, twisted part of her had the gall to believe that she deserved it?

Lola was even more stymied than that. Her voice was reduced to a mere whisper, shakily fighting to get words out. "Yeah, well, I…I-I…uh…"

Lori's heart tore in two when she saw tears pricking against her gentle, blue eyes. "I-I'm not a 'mean sister', okay?" she managed to force out of her strained, choked throat. "Just because I'm not a perfect angel doesn't mean I'm a devil."

Against her better judgment, Luan walked up to Lola and squeezed her tightly in a hug. She beat Lori to the punch, you thought better of trying to make such contact after causing her little sister so much pain.

"Sorry, Lola," Lori said, hanging her head in shame while rubbing the back of her neck. "I shouldn't have gone that far."

She looked up and noticed that everyone's moods were brought down. Whether it was by her tasteless remark alone or if the combination of both _that_ and the list was responsible wasn't clear, but what was clear was that she wasn't above making her sisters feel like they were worth her love, whatever _that_ was worth to them.

"Look, guys, I think we all need to understand something important here, alright?" She waited for all eyes to be focused on her, but she gladly accepted the fact that they seemed to acknowledge her nonetheless. "While, yes, you guys can get on my nerves sometimes, I would literally deny every single chance I'd get to replace any of you for anyone else. I love you all with all my heart and I'm really sorry if I don't always act that way."

Then, she dared to ask, "And I'm sure you guys feel the same way, right?"

Her lungs expelled tense breath when they all nodded. She nearly teared up herself. She really _did_ have the best siblings ever.

"It's just too bad Lincoln doesn't feel the same way about us," Lola said sadly.

"What're you talking about?" Luan assured as she stroked Lola's head. "Lincoln doesn't have a bad bone in his body against any of us. He loves us."

"Maybe," Lisa replied, "but would it be out of the question to assume that he loved his 'nice sisters' more than us?"

Luan faltered before she could adamantly deny Lisa's logic. After all, now that she thought about, "mean" might as well have meant "bad". There's no way that Lincoln would think of something that was "bad" as favorably as something that was "good", right? It only made sense.

"I…I guess not," she admitted.

Lisa took the lull that followed as an opportunity to speak on the matter herself.

"As much as I'm adamant about avoiding human emotions, I can't deny that his labeling of me, of us, rather stings. But, as science has proven, there's no problem that can't be overcome."

"So, what're you suggesting?" Lynn asked, unsure of where Lisa was going. "We brainwash him into thinking that we're 'nice sisters' or something?"

"That would've been something that the old Lisa would've resorted to, yes," Lisa said. "But, as one who wishes to be a 'nice sister', I'm thinking that we simply refrain from any behavior that would inspire such a callous designation to begin with."

A smile graced Lola's face. Although she didn't have a clue what words like "designation" or "callous" meant, she was still literate enough in "Lisa speak" to know what she was proposing.

"So, in order for us to be 'nice sisters', basically, we just have to act nicer to Lincoln?" Lola asked.

Lisa shook her head. "It's not just about 'acting nicer' in a general sense," she explained. "We must also be sure that Lincoln isn't reminded of our 'mean sister' personas. That means that anything that could trigger a scornful response must be done away with for good."

Luan hummed thoughtfully. "I mean, I guess it's worth a shot. I don't think I'm a 'mean sister'-"

"And neither do any of us," Lori interjected.

"Thanks," Luan said after flashing her a smile. "Anyway, even though I don't think I'm mean, it wouldn't hurt to be a better sister. If it means that Lincoln thinks we're just as good as the others, I don't see why we all can't be nicer."

The idea brightened everyone's spirits, a complete reversal of the gloomy atmosphere that hovered over their heads like a storm cloud. They had a chance to both redeem themselves and make themselves just as endearing as their other sisters.

And they were going to make sure to make a statement.

"Yeah!" Lola exclaimed, raising a fist high. "Let's show Lincoln how nice we can be!"

"We won't stop being nice, not even after our niceness is gushing out of his ears!" Lynn declared with gusto.

Lori, though enthusiastic about proving herself, quelled the fervor with a precaution. "Okay, but we can't tell Lincoln what we're up to, alright? I think I can speak for everyone when I say that we want him to see us as 'nice sisters' on his own. It won't mean anything if he doesn't realize how good we can be by himself."

A chorus of acquiescing remarks, agreeing to keep their pact in the dark, left her with only one thing to ask. "So, who's ready to be a 'nice sister'?"


	2. Chapter 2

Lincoln Loud was not a happy camper. Why, if he were a boy scout, he'd have earned the "Grumpy Gus" badge with the attitude he had right now.

But then again, getting into arguments with Clyde did that to him, and the feeling was even more intense than usual, since Lincoln believed that he was in the right. "Nerdin' it out with Clyde" (as Lynn often called it) started off rather well; two boys enjoying each other's company while playing video games.

Then, one thing led to another as Clyde paused the game in favor of divulging yet another scheme to make Lori his girlfriend once and for all. By the time he reached the part involving a garden hose and peanut butter (Lincoln _still_ didn't know where he was going with that looking back on it), Lincoln had had his fill of Lori-fueled lovey-dovey babble and kindly told him to can it. Taking offense, Clyde chastised him for "not being a bro" (whatever that meant), which Lincoln retorted with unkind words of his own. Their heated exchange went back and forth for several minutes, the severity of their insults escalating with each serve, until Lincoln stormed out of his house in a huff.

Now, trudging angrily towards home, Lincoln wanted to do nothing more than spend his remaining Saturday curled up in bed with a comic book or two while he did his best to forget about stupid Clyde and his stupid Lori obsession and his stupid…well, everything!

By the time he reached the front door, Lincoln was just about ready to rip it off its hinges in a fit of rage, but stopped when he regained just enough foresight to know that he'd be hurting himself if he tried and that the door didn't deserve to be mistreated because his "best friend" couldn't cut the Lori chatter for one day to hang out with him properly.

Sighing, he reached out and rapped his knuckles against the door a few times and waited for someone to open it. He sighed again, expecting someone to answer him longer than he wanted. After all, given how it was a Saturday, he suspected that most of his sisters had gone out for the day, and since Vanzilla wasn't in the driveway, there was a good chance that either Lori or at least one of his parents weren't home.

Both of his expectations were dashed when the door was not only open a mere four seconds after his last knock, but the person responsible was the eldest Loud sister herself.

"Welcome home, Lincoln!" Lori exclaimed, wearing a smile that would give any of the Yates, their newest neighbors, a run for their money.

Lincoln staggered back slightly, befuddled by Lori's expression. Granted, seeing Lori this happy wasn't exactly rare, but as far as he could tell, she was elated because of…him? Why? He didn't know, but all he knew was that her smile put him on edge.

Lincoln gave her a sheepish grin, not sure how to respond properly. "Uh…hi, Lor- _eeeeeeeee_!" he wailed as, without warning, Lori grabbed him, pulled him inside, slammed the door behind them, raced off to the couch, and plopped her utterly confused brother down in the middle seat.

Lincoln was spun in a panic now, believing that Lori's smile was nothing more than a pretense for whatever sordid intentions she had in store for him. The feeling only grew as Lori stepped in front of him, still beaming brightly, as her shadow loomed over him like the retribution that he thought he was about to face.

Lincoln's skin broke in a nervous sweat, and he began to feel sick to his stomach. "W-what's going on?!" he babbled in sheer fright as he pressed himself into the couch and shut his eyes. "Did I do something wrong?! Whatever it is, I'm sorry, Lori! I'm really, really sorry! I'm so, so, so, so, so, so, so-"

Lori reached out and pressed her finger to his lips, which effectively shut Lincoln up, but did little to calm his nerves.

"Sssssssssh. It's okay, Lincoln. I'm not mad at you," Lori said, punctuating her reassurance with a giggle.

His heart began to slow down as he found comfort in her words. "Y-you're not?"

He dared to peel one eye open and he found that Lori had moved. Now, she was even closer to him, her face a breath's away from his.

"Of course not, silly," she cooed. "If I were mad, would I do this?"

"This" wound up being Lori pecking him on the forehead, walking over to the coffee table, retrieving the remote control, and placing it in Lincoln's lap.

"I figured you wanted to spend some time in front of the TV today," Lori said, "so I made sure that when you came back home, you'd get that chance."

Once again, Lincoln's expectations were thrown right out the window, along with any reason to fear any sort of punishment from her older sister. Still, he was left with more questions than answers:

Why was TV time, a precious commodity in the Loud house, given away so freely without any sort of ulterior motive, at least as far as he could tell?

And even if he could accept that as normal, how come this was coming from Lori, of all people? She wasn't exactly the most… _generous_ person in the world.

Again, why was Lori so gosh darn happy to see him? He hadn't done anything special for her lately, so…maybe she was just being charitable because…reasons?

Before another vexing question could spawn out and grab his focus, Lori pulled him out of his mulling when she left his side to make her way to the kitchen. She paused, just as she was about to enter the dining room. Turning back to her brother, she flashed another award-winning smile at him and said, "Now, you just sit right there while I get some microwavable popcorn for you."

With that, Lori disappeared around the corner, leaving Lincoln to cope with his warring emotions.

On one hand, he was grateful for Lori's acts of kindness. It wasn't often that she would spoil him like this, and it was even _less_ often that she'd do it without attaching an I.O.U. that she expected him to commit to. Sure, watching TV wasn't exactly what he wanted, but he wasn't about to trample over Lori's generosity by rejecting it.

On the other hand, even with how warm and fuzzy she had left him, he still couldn't shake the feeling that…something was up. He wasn't sure what that "something" was, but he wasn't about to throw his suspicions by the wayside. He'd give Lori the benefit of the doubt for the most part, but he refused to betray his instincts by disregarding them completely.

But even with that hunch in the back of his mind, Lincoln felt unconflicted about one, important thing; Lori had just made his rotten day a little less rotten.

* * *

Happily munching on his popcorn, Lincoln found himself in a state of utter bliss. About half an hour ago, Lori had joined him on the couch, watching whatever programs he was looking at without any complaining. Then, in a move that took him for surprise, Lori started giving him "head scratchies" (as Lola would call them) for a good ten minutes before she left him to enjoy himself by his lonesome.

Just as another commercial break followed an episode of _Ace Savvy: The Animated Series_ , Luan came from out of the dining room, holding something behind her back.

"Hey, Linc-a-rino!" Luan called, coaxing Lincoln to turn his head to look at her.

"Hey, Luan," he said and looked back at the TV.

A few seconds later, _that_ became impossible to do when Luan stepped right in front of him, blocking his viewing of the screen. Before he could ask her to kindly get out of the way, Luan asked, "So, how's the most adorable little brother in the whole wide world today? Parched, I bet."

Lincoln eyed Luan with incredulity. On top of being called "the most adorable little brother in the whole wide world", Lincoln found Luan's behavior…a little more than strange. In fact, he would say it was downright suspicious. This all looked and sounded like a set-up for some kind of practical joke.

"I…suppose," Lincoln said reservedly. "Yeah, I guess I'm a little parched."

Lincoln watched as Luan immediately revealed what was behind her back. "Then why don't you quench your thirst with this last can of Mr. Fibb I got from the fridge?"

Lincoln looked at the soda can, and stopped himself just as he was about to reach for it, remembering who it was that he was dealing with.

' _Ah, the 'ol soda spray routine, eh Luan?'_ Lincoln thought. _'A classic but one that I'm not gonna fall for.'_

His reluctance to receive her "gift" stirred Luan into asking, "Something wrong?"

"Would you mind opening the can for me?" Lincoln asked, stifling a chuckle from his cleverness. "My fingers are a little sore."

Now, he had her. At this point, she only had two options. She could either come clean with her prank or she could trigger her scheme herself and hope that it wouldn't literally blow up in her face as she tried to save her hide.

"Sure!" she said and snapped the soda can open with a loud _click_. She held out the beverage to him again. "Here you go!"

Lincoln's mouth fell open as neither of his assumptions came true. The shock eventually wore off, leaving shame behind in its place. Lincoln could only hang his head and rest it in his hands as he realized that he had acted like a jerk just now.

For the first time since she showed up, Luan frowned, clearly perturbed by Lincoln's response.

"What's wrong? You don't like Mr. Fibb?" she asked sadly. "It thought it was your favorite drink."

"I'm sorry," Lincoln replied.

Luan sidled up next to him on the couch, leaving the soda on the coffee table before she did so. "Sorry for what?"

Lincoln sighed and looked up to lock eyes with her. "I lied about my fingers being sore. I thought you shook up the can of soda, and you were trying to get me to open it and spray the drink all over my face."

He didn't know what Luan would do next, but he was sure that even if she wouldn't chastise him harshly, she'd still be a little disappointed in him.

Instead, the exact opposite happened when Luan threw her head back and laughed. Once again, Luan rendered Lincoln completely flabbergasted. Once a few moments ticked by, Luan finally found the resolve to keep a lid on the laughter to address her brother.

"Hey, don't worry about it," Luan said and poked Lincoln lightly in the ribs, eliciting a giggle from him. "Don't feel down because you made a mistake. Everyone makes 'em."

Before she stood up, she leaned in and planted a kiss on his cheek, leaving him feeling pleased with himself.

"Now, why don't I leave you alone so you can get back to your 'fizz-ness'?" Luan joked and resumed her laughter from earlier as she left Lincoln to continue relishing in his alone time.

Not even the return of _Ace Savvy: The Animated Series_ could get Lincoln to feel better than he did right now. Sure, enjoying a refreshing can of Mr. Fibb wasn't exactly the greatest thing in the world, but the kindness behind Luan's act wasn't lost on him; instead of dashing his hopes with a prank, she looked to enhance his good time with a small token of affection.

And on top of that, she had forgiven him for expecting the worst out of her. It was moments like these that Lincoln was appreciative of the fact that Luan was his sister and that was no joke.

* * *

After a few hours of uninterrupted TV time, Lincoln had enough for one day and went off to bed to grab a comic book for reading. Presently, he was contently snuggled underneath his blanket (half-naked for maximum comfort) and skimming through the pages of _Muscle Fish #16_ (a timeless classic, in his opinion). Just as he was about to read through the dramatic caption box on top of page 29, his mother called out to him from downstairs.

"Lincoln?!"

He could hear the inflection of a request in her voice, and Lincoln groaned. _'Just when things were getting really good.'_

He hopped out of bed and opened the door to allow his voice to carry down the empty hallway.

"Yeah, Mom?!" Lincoln called.

"Charles needs to go for a walk! Hurry up before he pees on the carpet again!"

Sighing, Lincoln knew he really didn't have a choice in the matter. Even though Charles wasn't _his_ pet, per se, he was usually the one responsible for taking care of him, and that included taking him for walks.

"Okay, Mom!" Lincoln replied, but before he could do so much as go back to his room and slip some clothes on, he could hear the jingle of a dog collar in the distance and quick-paced footsteps bounding up the stairs. Sure enough, there was Charles, racing towards Lincoln with his leash in his mouth. He grinded to a halt once he was in front of the boy and dropped the leash down to pant excitedly.

Lincoln grinned. Even if he was cutting into his free time, Charles was someone that he just couldn't stay mad at.

"Hey, boy, ready to go?" Lincoln asked, as if he needed to.

Charles responded by wagging his tail and yelping out a few impatient barks, which stirred Lincoln into letting out a few short chuckles.

"Alright, alright, calm down. I got you covered," he said, and turned his back to go back to his room for his clothes.

"Stop right there!"

Lincoln froze up instantly, locking his limbs rigidly in place. He knew that voice, even from behind a door like right now, and he knew full well that if Lola told you to "stop right there", that you'd better not move even the slightest twitch, lest you incur her wrath.

He could hear a door opening, presumably the one for his twin sister's bedroom, but he didn't dare turn around to confirm; he had his orders and they were all about stopping in his tracks.

"Where do you think you're going, mister?"

Lincoln gulped, the only movement his body allowed. He felt fear trickling down his spine like an ice-cold breeze. He couldn't remember what he had done to make Lola mad, but rather than dwell on that, he desperately scrambled for an apology that would satisfy her.

As he did, he failed to notice that Lola had approached him from behind. He only noticed when he felt her tapping him on the shoulder, thus permitting him to unfreeze to face her properly. When he did, he recoiled backwards, nearly tripping over his legs as he did.

It was Lola alright, but rather than vengeful Lola, here was…sweet-looking Lola, grabbing on one end of Charles' leash while the other end was hooked in his collar.

"You're going back to your room to read your comics, that's where you're going," Lola said, grinning from ear-to-ear. "I'll take Charles out."

Lincoln spluttered out wheezy breaths in quick succession, his mind blown from what he couldn't believe he had just heard. Finally, he found his voice and yelled, "What?! _You_?!"

Out of any possible outcome from this meeting, Lola offering to take Charles out for walks was, by far, the least likely scenario he could've seen coming. He'd sooner believe that a meteor would crash through the ceiling of their house before he could imagine Lola, "Miss Prim and Proper", voluntarily handling the burden of managing the family dog while he did his business.

Lola met his disbelief without malice and repeated her intentions calmly. "You heard me. Let me take care of the dog. You just relax."

Lincoln almost made a move to stop her, to question her why she was doing something like this for him, but he clamped his mouth shut when he remembered what Lori had done for him earlier. Like Lori, Lola was going out of her way to treat him kindly. Sure, with two similarly unbelievable events happening in one afternoon, Lincoln felt he had every right to reserve a shred of suspicion—but in the meantime, who was he to look a gift horse in the mouth?

"Lola?"

Before Lola could go anywhere with Charles, she stopped and looked back at him over her shoulder. That smile never left.

"Yes?" Lola answered.

Lincoln returned her smile with one of his own. "Thank you. This is really nice of you."

Upon saying those words, Lincoln noticed that Lola's cute, little eyes expanded and sparkled. Her smile grew along with them, and she let go off Charles' leash to run up to her brother and hug him around his legs.

"You're welcome, Lincy!" she chirped and let go to hurry away with Charles in tow.

The only thing Lincoln did after that was go back to his room, all while thinking that Lola was a great little sister indeed.

* * *

It was close to dinner time now, and by this point, Lincoln was burnt out on both comic books _and_ television for the day.

But something else, something other than weariness, weighed on him like an anvil. No matter how much he tried to block his spat with Clyde out of his mind, he could only do so much before the painful memory came back to haunt him.

Over and over again, the harsh argument played in his head, and Lincoln winced at each time, both from hurt from Clyde's words and from guilt from his own. After the last replay, Lincoln had enough, knowing now that the fight with Clyde was stupid and worth getting over as soon as possible. His friendship wasn't worth losing his best friend over, and he knew that had some apologizing to do for the things he said anyway.

With his mind made up, he got out of bed, and was about to reach underneath his bed for his walkie-talkie…

Until he heard knocking from behind his door. Lincoln grumbled but figured that he could get back to Clyde once this business was handled.

"Come in," Lincoln said and slipped back under his covers on the off chance that it wasn't his mother or father. He wasn't exactly shy about his sisters seeing him in his underwear, but he knew that they would rather see him fully clothed when they were around him (although Lola didn't seem to mind his half-nakedness if his last interaction with her could be trusted).

The door opened and Lisa, holding a clipboard underneath her arm, slipped through the crack.

"What's up, Lisa?" Lincoln asked.

Lisa held her clipboard out in front of her, her eyes never leaving the pages that Lincoln couldn't make out from this distance.

"I've been interested in the histology of intestinal tissue lately," Lisa explained, "and I have reason to believe that your gastrointestinal tract would make for an exemplary subject of analysis."

Lincoln blinked. "I'm sorry…what?"

What followed was what Lisa would usually do when someone failed to comprehend her vocabulary; explain herself in layman's terms. Lincoln, though, noted that unlike the other times she'd do this, she wasn't doing so with condescension and impatience in her tone.

"I want to examine your intestines on a microscopic level and wish to do so using an assortment of highly invasive equipment," Lisa clarified.

Lincoln's pupils dilated, his body shook, and he gulped loudly. "Is, uh, i-is that so?" he asked, tugging at a shirt collar that wasn't there.

"However…" Lincoln stopped shaking when Lisa's compassionate tone put him at ease. "…I won't impose my will on you by insisting that you assist me nor will I…well, have you involved without your consent. Instead, I'll simply ask if you're willing to indulge me."

Lincoln marveled at the aftermath of what he thought was going to be a tense situation. He half-expected Lisa to lunge at him with wild abandon, doing whatever she could to bring him into submission.

But this? This was a rare occurrence, indeed. Heck, he wasn't sure if this was a _new_ occurrence or not. He couldn't remember the last time Lisa had ever regarded her siblings' feelings when it came to her involving them in her studies, especially those of the really invasive kind.

But if this wasn't some sort of elaborate experiment, then Lincoln found no reason to fear giving her his honest thoughts on her proposal.

"No offense, Lisa, but that doesn't sound like something I'd be up for. Sorry, but I'm going to have to deny," Lincoln said firmly.

Instead of either storming out of his room dejectedly, or revealing that her consideration was but a mere front, Lisa replied with the maturity that befitted her genius.

"Very well," she replied. "I'll respect your wishes and leave you be."

Without another word, Lisa walked out, closing the door behind her. A few seconds passed after that, and Lincoln was met with regret over what he had failed to do.

Instead of rewarding her attitude with a "Thank you", he had let her slip out before she could know how much her thoughtful approach meant to him. He promised, right there and then, that he'd be taking care of that very soon.

For now, though, he had a best buddy to make up with.

* * *

Over the next few hours, Lincoln had accomplished everything that he had wanted to do.

As it turned out, Clyde was just as accepting about burying the hatchet as he was. With that, both friends patched up and promised to never let anything like that repeat itself ever again.

Afterwards, he made sure to tell Lisa, whom he had found in the living room, that he appreciated the fact that she had asked him he was okay with her studies.

And now, with a belly full of dinner, Lincoln was ready to call it a day and go to sleep. Once he got upstairs, he switched into his pajamas, brushed his teeth, and was just about to head to his room.

Just then, he felt a tug at the sleeve of his pajama top. He looked behind him and found Lynn standing there, looking, to Lincoln's surprise, rather glum.

"Can we talk for a second, Lincoln?" she asked.

Sensing that something was eating at her, Lincoln said, "Sure, Lynn."

She followed him into his room and Lincoln gestured for her to sit anywhere she wanted as he closed the door behind them. Once he did, he turned around and was taken aback by Lynn's expression as she looked back at him from his chair; she had gone from a little "under-the-weather" to almost…frightened?

Lynn Loud? _Frightened_? He could count the number of things that Lynn was afraid of on one hand. And somehow, her fright involved _him_. Though he was concerned for Lynn, all the same, he just had to know what was up with her for curiosity's sake.

He sat on the bed, doing his best to appear as approachable as possible, so that Lynn wouldn't have any reason to hold back.

"What's on your mind?" Lincoln asked.

He looked carefully at her as she took a few seconds to speak.

"Earlier, I was…" She shut her eyes and rushed out, "… _Iwasinyourroom_."

Though that last part was a little fumbled, Lincoln could make it out.

"You were?" he asked. "I don't remember seeing you here before I went over to Clyde's."

By now, Lynn was squirming in her seat and broke away from Lincoln's gaze to look at the floor. "That's because I was in here while you were gone."

Instantly, Lincoln's face hardened in a glare. "So, in other words, you came into my room without asking me first?"

Lynn nodded and kept her eyes away from seeing Lincoln, who no longer felt anything resembling attentiveness for Lynn's feelings; now that he was aware _why_ Lynn was responding to him so timidly, he couldn't help but be agitated with her.

"Uh-huh," Lynn continued. "I was looking for some earbuds, and I thought you might have some. That's why I came in here and-"

"And you were looking through my things too? You went ahead and looked to borrow something that I didn't give you permission to use, let alone _look_ for?"

Lincoln watched as Lynn nodded again. The only thing keeping him from yelling was the fact that he didn't want anyone else to rush in and intercede on him dressing down Lynn for her negligence of both his privacy and his respect.

"Lynn," he groused, "how many times do I have to tell you _not_ to do that? How many?"

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, well you should…" He paused after those words were said. That had to have been his imagination. "What?"

Now, Lynn was no longer looking away, guilt-ridden and ashamed. Now, she was facing her brother with tenderness that Lynn was usually reluctant to wear on her sleeve.

"I'm sorry," Lynn repeated. "You're absolutely right. I was wrong, and I shouldn't have acted like what I was doing was okay. It won't happen again."

Lincoln fought the urge to slap himself across the face to wake himself up. This had to be dream. It just _had_ to.

Now, everything was beginning to make sense… _sorta_. Her tentative attitude, her uneasy look, her apology…Lynn was actually showing remorse for barging into his room unannounced, not to mention the fact that she did all of this on her own, without Lincoln having to have caught on to her. Normally, she'd just tell him that what she was doing was "no big deal" and leave it at that, but that definitely wasn't the case.

So, in a way, what Lynn was doing all added up, but there was still a strong possibility that he was just having a dream.

And that's when she rushed forward and hugged him, wrapping Lincoln up with warmth that he could never experience in a dream.

"Forgive me?" she asked.

Lincoln didn't need to think about his answer. "Yeah. I do. And look, I'm sorry for being a bit of a hothead."

Lynn shook her head. "Nah, I deserved it. And hey, thanks for forgiving me. It means a lot."

Letting him go, Lynn let out a yawn and stretched her arms over her head. Lincoln was relieved to see that Lynn was looking much better than she had a few seconds ago.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I'm bushed. How about you?" Lynn asked.

"Yeah. I'm pretty beat myself," Lincoln said.

A cheeky grin sprang up on Lynn's face. "That's what I thought."

Before Lincoln could protest, Lynn scooped him up in her arms with ease. With one arm, she pulled back the covers of his bed and used her other arm to gently slide him underneath his blankets. Then, she grabbed Bun-Bun from his desk and placed him right next to her little brother's head.

"Here you go," Lynn said, looking pleased with herself.

Though Lincoln hadn't asked to be tucked in quite like this, he had to admit that it felt pretty nice to be treated like this.

"Thanks, Lynn," Lincoln said and pulled Bun-Bun closer to him, letting out a dainty yawn.

"All in a sister's work," Lynn replied and walked over to the light switch.

"Goodnight," Lynn said and flicked the lights off before she left.

It didn't take long for Lincoln to peacefully drift into his sleep cycle, but before he did, his thoughts were with Lori, Luan, Lola, Lisa, and Lynn—five sisters that had made this a Saturday to both remember and to cherish.

* * *

The basement was in a fever of pride and enjoyment. After making sure that no one would follow them Lynn, Lisa, Lori, Luan, and Lola snuck off to the basement and told each other what they had done for Lincoln after he had come home. With each story and report of Lincoln finding favor with their respective actions, the sister only grew prouder of themselves by the minute.

After Lynn wrapped up her story, Lori spoke with sentiments that were sincerely felt by the other four.

"You know, doing all that nice stuff for Lincoln felt pretty good," Lori said.

"I hear ya," Luan agreed. "And by the sounds of it, Lincoln really appreciated it too."

"So, you know what this means, right?" Lola asked.

Lynn smiled, believing that she had Lola figured out. "I'm pickin' up what you're puttin' down, sis; if Lincoln really liked what we did for him today-"

"…then that means we have to make sure that we act even _nicer_ tomorrow!" Lola finished, slapping a high five with Lynn.

"And we'll be 'nice sisters' in no time at all!" Luan cried.

"Huzzah!" Lisa exclaimed.

She carried on with more "huzzah's", which the others eventually joined in with cheers of their own.

It was official; day one was a rousing success, but they couldn't afford to halt their momentum by slacking off.

No, Lincoln was going to recognize them as his 'nice sisters', and they'd fight for that acceptance with smiles on their faces.


	3. Chapter 3

Waking up came just as easy as falling asleep the night before. As he slid out of his bed to go grab a fresh pair of clothes, Lincoln had a feeling that he wasn't early to rise, given how he could hear giddy children playing right outside his window—something that he couldn't imagine waking up to early on a Sunday morning.

Once he had his attire laid out on his bed, the next step was to head to the bathroom to freshen up. Since he was the clearly the last to wake up, that meant that there'd be no line to get to the bathroom—a thought that pleased him; nothing like a warm, relaxing shower before getting started on homework.

Upon opening his door, Lincoln was rendered baffled by the sight before him; there, huddled up in a group, were Lori, Luan, Lynn, Lola, and Lisa, who all sported big, shiny grins.

"Good morning, Lincoln!" they said in unison.

Lincoln looked at his sisters all at once, too stunned to do anything but gaze at them in bewilderment.

"Good…morning," he finally managed to say after a good ten seconds of silence.

Lola broke away from the huddle to shuffle up to him and nuzzle her face against his torso as she hugged him tightly.

"We're so glad that you've finally woken up, sleepyhead!" Lola said. "We've been waiting for you to get up for _hours_!"

Lincoln's eyelids nearly tore off as they raised up in a flash from shock. _'Hours?!'_

It was Luan's turn to get up close and personal with him now as she walked around him and slung an arm around his shoulder, then pressed her cheek against his. She didn't seem to notice Lincoln cringing in discomfort as she didn't bother letting go.

"What'cha up to, bro?" she asked.

Lincoln felt himself tense from the queasy bubbling in his gut. This was the _opposite_ of what Luan made him feel yesterday. Instead of comforting warmth, his insides were thrashed with tiny, dizzying pangs. He liked hugs as much as the next guy, but she was _waaaaaaay_ too close for comfort.

"Just, uh, gonna go and brush my teeth," Lincoln said, squirming in Luan's far-too-friendly grasp. "T-that's all."

Just as he was about to try shifting himself free once again, Lynn walked up to him with the smile that was pleasant yesterday but was bordering on unsettling now, given his present circumstances.

"Don't worry about getting to the bathroom. We've got you covered," Lynn assured.

Lincoln raised an eyebrow. "What're you talking about abo- _woah_!"

In the blink of an eye, Lincoln found himself perched up high on Lynn's shoulders after she had hoisted him up there herself. With his legs slung across her shoulders, Lynn made sure to grab both of his legs before she made a beeline toward the bathroom, followed closely behind by the other four sisters.

"Make way for the best brother ever!" Lynn yelled.

Eventually, Lola sped past them, arrived at the bathroom door, and flung it open to allow the Lynn & Lincoln combo to fly on through. As Lori, Luan, and Lisa closed in on them, Lola swiped Lincoln's toothbrush out of its holster on the sink, grabbed the toothpaste right next to said holster, and squirted a delicate, pea-sized blob of toothpaste on the bristles. Meanwhile, Lynn let Lincoln down in front of the bathroom mirror and was handed the toothbrush by Lola.

Beginning to grow irritated with his sisters' odd behavior, Lincoln began to say, "Okay, seriously, just what is going on with y-" but was denied any further words as Lynn gently scrubbing away at his teeth with care. His complaints were rendered to muffled garbles as Lynn, oblivious to his vexation, hummed merrily as she continued her task.

By the time Lynn got to the back row, that's when he started to feel a bit… _steamed_ , like he was in a sauna or something. When he noticed that condensation began to form on the mirror, he finally understood why. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Lori turning on the water in the shower while Lola draped his orange towel over the shower curtain rod.

Before he had time to dwell on what they were doing, Lisa was suddenly in front of him, shoving a small paper cup in his face with what Lincoln could tell was full of mouthwash.

"Don't forget your mouthwash," she said. "And remember to swish properly for the best results."

As soon as Lincoln grabbed it, Lynn finally slipped the toothbrush out of his mouth, allowing him lean over the sink to spit out the toothpaste.

"Thanks," Lincoln grumbled and did as Lisa instructed (as if he needed her intervention in the first place).

"Oh, Lincy?" the voice of Lola called to him.

He groaned and turned his head. The sisters were all gathered in front of the tub while warm water ran from the nozzle. Like before, those blasted, creepy smiles refused to leave their faces.

"We've got the shower all ready for you; water at just the right temperature, a bottle of your favorite shampoo, and a towel fresh from the laundry," Lori said.

"Enjoy!" Luan added.

With that, the merry quintet dashed out the bathroom, leaving Lincoln behind to try and sort out the conundrum that he just experienced.

He heard about "that time of the month" a few times before, but he had never heard enough to have a good idea of what it was all about. Was that supposed to be what was happening now and if so, were these actions of theirs _s_ upposed to be those…mood swings? If so, that'd explain why five out of his ten sisters were acting, with words that Lincoln chose out of gentle consideration, _completely insane_.

If that was the case, then Lincoln would just have to weather the storm until it was all over; no use fighting against Mother Nature, after all.

Besides, he thought, it could've been worse; they could've decided to stick around to help him wash behind his ears and… _other_ places he didn't want to even begin thinking about.

* * *

At 1:17, Lincoln's body demanded food, his stomach growling in protest to his "inattentiveness". Deciding to do something about it, Lincoln set aside his math homework, exited his room, and made his way to the kitchen.

' _I hope Luna didn't eat all the pumpernickel bread again,'_ Lincoln thought as he descended the stairs. _'I could go for a PB &J and no PB&J is perfect without pumpernickel.'_

Once he reached the bottom, he was only allowed to step a few paces forward before he bumped into something underneath his line of sight. He expelled a breath from the blow, though he was only stunned for a bit rather than hurt.

As soon as he looked down, he was stunned further still and it was all because of what he saw. That something, or rather _someone_ , that he had bumped into was none other than his brainiac of a sister, Lisa. She wasn't alone, however, as Lola was by her side, effectively making a blockade that didn't allow him to go any further unless he walked around them.

But again, he was stunned, too shocked to do anything but stare wide-eyed at his little sisters. Seeing Lola and Lisa with those huge, creepy smiles of theirs was something that he had, more or less, gotten used to by now. What _was_ surprising, however, was what they were _wearing_.

Clad in French maid outfits, Lola and Lisa gave their brother a quick curtsy before they addressed him.

"Greetings, dear brother!" Lisa chirped.

"We're so glad that you could join us!" Lola said.

Lincoln had several questions, all of which were rattling around in his head.

One, why would either Lola or Lisa own outfits like this to begin with? He couldn't imagine Lisa finding this get-up dignified enough to own and maid outfits were a symbol of servitude, an idea that he knew that someone like Lola Loud had no interest in upholding.

Two, was he _absolutely_ sure that this wasn't just some fever dream? He sure hoped it was.

Three, how long had they been waiting for him?

Four, why did it feel like he was moving?

He snapped out of his stupor and realized, that indeed, he _was_ moving. Lisa and Lola had him by one hand each as they led him to the dining room. Once they entered it, Lola broke away to run up and pull back a chair from the end of the table they were taking him.

"Now, just have a seat right over here…" Lola said.

"And allow us to serve you to the best of our abilities," Lisa finished and prodded Lincoln softly into sitting down.

Lincoln thought better than to make a mad dash for it. He had a gut feeling that with they would probably just run after him and pull him back. Thus, the only thing he could do was try to get them to leave him be.

"Look, I just came down here for a PB&J sandwich," Lincoln said. "I don't need you to-"

"PB&J coming right up!" Lola cried and raced off to the kitchen with Lisa.

"Wait!" Lincoln cried. "I didn't mean that you had to…oh, never mind."

He sighed and resigned himself to his fate. Fine, if they were going to make him a PB&J sandwich, then he'd let them. The sooner they finished, the sooner he could have his snack and be off to do his homework.

In the meantime, he'd just sit idly by and try to tune them out as best as he could. Their cheerful whistling, even from all the way in the kitchen, was starting to grate his ears; Lisa, especially, was _way_ too off-key to be pleasant.

"Here you are, Lincoln."

Lola's statement and the sound of plate clattering jerked him out of his stasis, and he looked down at what was in front of him. He winced and chuckled sheepishly; to put it lightly, their sandwich looked less like a sandwich and more like a slovenly thrown together jigsaw puzzle that was pieced together with glue and masking tape.

"One PB&J sandwich," Lola said before she pecked Lincoln on the cheek, "served with a side of extra sisterly love!"

"And to compliment your snack," Lisa said and placed a full glass of orange juice next to the sandwich, "here's a tall glass of refrigerated orange juice. May the heavenly citrus flavor satisfy your palate."

Lincoln was caught between a rock and a hard place. Even with their borderline psychotic demeanors, Lola and Lisa had gone out of their way to make him something to eat. It would be rude to just shove it away.

On the other hand, that sandwich looked way too messy and inedible to be enjoyed properly. And now that he had a really good look at it, was that…cinnamon caked in the jelly?! For crying out loud, he was promised PB&J, not PBJ&C! There was no way he could eat that without having to take several trips to the bathroom afterwards!

His inner conflict must've been prominent enough on his face to inspire concern because Lola and Lisa looked on at their older brother, perturbed by his uneasiness.

"Is something wrong?" Lola asked, brows furrowed.

"Perhaps the sandwich isn't to your liking?" Lisa asked, a timid frown etched on her face.

But just as quickly as it came, Lola's worry evaporated as Lincoln realized, as far as he could tell, that Lola had just the answer that he needed.

"Or maybe, you just don't feel like chewing!" Lola yanked the plate away and made a beeline back to the kitchen. "Not to worry, Lincoln! Let your little sister help you!"

The "help" just so happened to be the blender roaring to life. Lincoln groaned in disgust as he knew what Lola was up to.

' _A sandwich smoothie?!' Yuck!'_

That was it. This is where he was drawing the line. There was no way he was going to chug down that nasty sludge, not even to spare Lola and Lisa's feelings.

Sitting up in haste, Lincoln turned to Lisa and told her, "Uh, Lisa, could you tell Lola that I'm not really hungry anymore? I'm just gonna go upstairs and do my homework."

"As you wish, my most excellent brother," Lisa said.

Lincoln thanked the lucky stars that Lisa had bought his lie and sprinted away as fast as he could. Hopefully, Lisa and Lola would grow tired of acting like kooky maids and let him make his own sandwich. For now, he'd either endure the hunger or look around his room for some half-eaten foodstuffs that had fallen on the floor.

Too bad he'd be downright violating the five-second rule. Oh well, c'est la vie.

* * *

"Now, let's see…"

After flipping over to the other side of his homework, Lincoln spotted his next problem at the top left corner of the page. He read over the following equation, confidence building as he already had the answer solved in his head.

"'If 2(x) + 25 = 51, then solve for x'." Lincoln snorted. "Pssh, is that it? That's easy!"

But just when he was about to subtract twenty-five from both sides, a knock came at his door.

"It's open," Lincoln said, looking over at the door to see who it was.

After the door flung open, Lincoln wished he had kept his big, fat mouth shut. He did _not_ need this right now.

"Hey, Lincoln!" Lori exclaimed, rushing forward and hugging her brother around his head.

Lincoln sighed. "What's going on _now_ , Lori?"

Either she missed the impatience in his voice or she ignored it. Either way, Lori's next reply belied any notion of hurt feelings.

"I wanna show you something really quick," Lori replied as she pulled away. "You mind?"

Lincoln weighed his options in his head, trying to see which course of action was best.

He had indulged Lisa and Lola earlier, and they had nearly fed him a nasty PBJ&C smoothie as his reward. So far, telling her that yes, he would very much mind, was the obvious choice. Even with his vow to "weather the storm", there was only so much he could take.

But, just like with her actions this morning, Lori and the others were _very_ insistent. Though their smiles promised no harm to be done for turning them down, somehow, the idea of rejecting their desires would be even scarier than how they were acting today.

If seeing them act so chipper and friendly, or their idea of those concepts, was unsettling, then seeing them lose their composure was even _more_ frightening.

' _Welp, Option B it is,'_ Lincoln thought as he scooched his chair back to give himself enough room to stand up.

"I suppose not," Lincoln said as he walked over to Lori's side.

Without saying another word, Lori led him by the hand down the hallway. They took a turn to their left at the door at the very end, and before Lincoln knew, he and Lori were in her room.

Well, it was technically her and _Leni's_ room, but Lori had called it her room so often that him doing the same became a habit.

"Do you know where we are?" Lori asked, motioning over to her half of the room as she did.

Lincoln processed the question with the same mental effort he used to work a toaster.

"We're in your room," Lincoln said plainly, stating what was obvious.

Or so he thought. He got a nose bop from her finger and a light giggle for her troubles. "Close, but no cigar. We're in _our_ room, Lincoln."

Lincoln blinked. "' _Our_ room'?" He hadn't just heard that, right? _Right_?

"That's right," Lori said. "From now on, you have 24/7 access to my side of the room. Everything you see here is just as much mine as it is yours. Oh, and don't worry about knocking first. You're always welcome here any time you want, regardless of what I'm doing."

It was all Lincoln could do not to scream at the top of his lungs, so he opted for tearing away from Lori's grasp and backing away towards the door, which was thankfully still open. He didn't think of going back to Lori's side, regardless of how saddened and confused she was looking right now.

Lisa and Lola's latest fashion choices paled in comparison to the absurdity of what Lori had just offered to him. Lori Loud's room was her sanctuary, her haven. The sound of her offering him the privilege of coming and going as he pleased (without knocking, even!) was too much for his brain to process all at once.

All he knew was, he had to get out of here and fast—back to his room, back to a sense of normalcy.

"Lincoln?" Lori asked, inching towards him with her hand outstretched to him. "Lincoln, are you okay?"

"Uh-huh! Uh-huh!" Lincoln insisted as he nodded erratically. "Totally fine, Lori! _Juuuuuust_ peachy! Soooooooo… _bye_!"

He turned on his heel and made a run for it, not caring how suspicious he made Lori with his hasty exit. The rush of adrenaline made him feel like he was running through a dark alley, trying to escape from a mob of demons that were gaining on him by the second.

He was almost there; just a few steps more, and he'd be back in his room in no ti-

"Lincoln!"

Lincoln yelped and fell backwards on his butt in startled fright. Just as he was about to close the distance between him and his room, Lynn had jumped out of her room and blocked his path.

His heart drummed against his ribs as he panted for breath and even with Lynn's sorrowful expression gazing back at him, he wasn't against calling her out her for nearly giving him a heart attack.

"Lynn! You startled me!" Lincoln snapped.

"Oh my gosh!" Lynn cried, rushing towards him to drop to her knees at his side. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean it, Lincoln, I swear!"

Her panic-stricken voice and terrified look on her face eased Lincoln's irritation, though that had more to do with how over the top Lynn was being more than anything else

"I-It's okay, Lynn. Really, I'm fine," Lincoln said as he got to his feet, allowing Lynn to help him.

"Anyway," Lynn said, greeting her brother with the same grin she had before she accidentally scared the daylights out of him, "I was just wondering if you were up for a game of Horse."

Lynn? Wanting to play basketball with him? A smile of Lincoln's own broke out; finally, after the weird day he was having, one of his five kooky sisters was starting to behave like themselves. With luck on his side, maybe the other four would get a clue and join her.

"Sure," Lincoln said. "Just let me finish up my homework first, and then we can play."

"Great! But just so you know, I'm giving myself a handicap."

Lincoln chuckled. "Is that so?"

This was classic Lynn to a tee; giving herself obstacles to make her imminent win that much sweeter. Man, was it _good_ to see Lynn back to her usual self.

"Yep," Lynn said. "I'm giving myself 'H-O-R-S' right off the bat. Plus, I'm gonna shoot all my shots with one arm. But, just in case I score, you don't have to do them with one arm yourself."

She then reached into her shorts pocket and pulled out a red sweatband, and it made Lincoln take pause. Was that her…?

"Oh, and I'll also let you wear my lucky sweatband too. Don't worry, I washed it clean just for you," Lynn said and handed it out for Lincoln to grab.

The peace in Lincoln's mind shattered like a dropped platter. ' _Not her too!'_ Lincoln thought and suddenly, it was like he was startled all again.

Lynn would let you spit on any of her trophies before she let you wear her lucky…anything! Lucky T-shirts, lucky hair tie, lucky hockey mask…whatever Lynn deemed as "luck" was to be worn by her only. _No_ exceptions.

Well, except for now, obviously! And what was more obvious was that he just had to get out of here, before anything else weird popped up out of nowhere just to mess with him.

"I think I'm gonna get back to my homework now!" Lincoln shouted and sped past Lynn, not bothering to look back.

Mercifully, nothing else got in his way as he bolted into his room, skidding to a stop as soon as he was inside. He nearly slipped when his body shifted to turn around and close the door…

And then he tumbled to the floor ungracefully when the head of one of his sisters' head popped through his doorway to greet him with a beaming smile. _'So close!'_

"Did somebody say 'homework'?" Luan asked, being the sister that had caught him off guard.

Lincoln chuckled nervously as he brushed himself off.

"Y-yeah," Lincoln stammered, standing to his feet. "I, uh, was just gonna get started with it." He sat back down in his chair while keeping his anxious grin frozen in place. "So, if you don't mind, I think I'll just-"

"You'll just sit right there and allow us to make you comfortable."

' _Oh, come on!'_ Lincoln screamed mentally while keeping up the façade of composure on the outside. "Luan, I really don't think you need to…" He paused when he took note of Luan's word choice. "Wait, what'd you mean 'us'?"

On cue, his remaining sisters popped up behind Luan, each successive appearance making Lincoln's head feel lighter and dizzier; this just couldn't be happening. The adage had gone weary at this point, but he felt like it was the only thing that was keeping him sane right now.

"Oh no," Lincoln whispered and just like that, the quintet charged forward, encircling him as they each offered their help like they were a pack of dogs fighting over a hearty steak bone.

"Here's a back pillow for your chair!" Lynn said as she slipped a pillow from Lincoln's bed behind his back.

"And pencils, almost as sharp as your wit!" Luan said and slapped a few pencils down next to his homework. "Get it?"

"And here," Lisa said as she placed a white radio-looking device next to his lamp and switched it on. "A white-noise machine, to help you relax."

"Mustn't forget to hydrate!" Lori said and dropped half a dozen water bottles in Lincoln's lap.

"Lemme me wipe that icky sweat off your brow!" Lola said as she used her handkerchief to start patting away at Lincoln's sweat-drenched forehead, not realizing that she and the others were the cause of his rampant perspiration.

And such meddling continued well into the afternoon, delaying the time that Lincoln would've finished his homework significantly. Caught in the eye of what Lincoln could only describe as a brand new, more horrible kind of Sisternado, Lincoln felt his head spinning from the sheer pressure of this pack of sisters constantly buzzing around him, offering their "help" to him.

Although he had promised himself that he wouldn't bring them down with the truth of his feelings, that didn't prevent him from any other logical avenues, one of which chastised him, during the dilemma that his sisters were inadvertently causing, for failing to act on it:

' _Why didn't I just do my homework at Clyde's from the start?!'_

* * *

Lori looked at herself through the reflection in Lincoln's dinner plate, silently giving approval to the cleaning she had given it. It was the perfect way to cap off their treatment of Lincoln at dinner.

Despite having the perfect chance to swipe his food off his plate several times when he wasn't looking, Lynn left his drumsticks and mashed potatoes alone. She would've tried feeding him too, but Lincoln firmly insisted that he could do that himself.

Lola had graciously allowed Lincoln to have her helping of the peach cobbler, loudly declaring that only a brother as sweet as him deserved such a treat.

With her family as her witness, Lisa promised that if she and her friends at NASA were to find a new planet, she would have it named after Lincoln in his honor.

And now, after about half an hour of scrubbing, both Luan and Lori were satisfied with the job they did at cleaning Lincoln's dishes. If their little brother was gonna eat and drink, then they'd make sure that he did so with the knowledge that his soon-to-be 'nice sisters' had left their mark.

Placing the dinner plate in the dish rack, Lori looked back at her allies, who stood just a few feet away as they watched her finish her work.

"Good work, girls," Lori said. "We really stepped up our game today."

In a show of appreciation for each other's efforts, hugs and high-fives were exchanged between the five of them. The merriment eventually petered out and Lynn, though as happy as could be, couldn't help but feel drained from all she had done today.

"But man, I'm beat," Lynn said, taking a second to blow out a tired breath and wipe her forehead with the back of her hand. "Being a 'nice sister' sure takes a lot out of ya. I don't know how the others do it so wel-"

"Oh no!" Lola cried.

The others gasped in horror as they looked to their pink-clad sister in a tizzy.

"What?!" Luan asked.

"What is it, Lola?!" Lori asked.

"We're such dopes!" Lola said. "We were so focused on Lincoln that we forgot about our other sisters!"

Too their dismay, they realized that Lola was right on the money. Why, none of them could remember spending time with any of their other sisters for the past two days. Heck, they hardly paid attention to them at the dinner they _just_ had. With their laser focus set on their brother, they had effectively shunned the others this whole time, and they didn't even realize it.

Such favoritism; that wasn't nice at all!

"You're right!" Luan cried. "We can't be 'nice sisters' if we're only nice to _Lincoln_!"

After that, most of the sisters went back to their panicked lamenting, overlapping one another as they scrambled about like headless chickens for something that they could do to make up for their neglect.

Soon, it all came to an end when Lisa stuffed two fingers in her mouth and whistled over the cacophony, stopping once everyone halted in their tracks to listen to what she had to say.

"It's a simple matter of reprioritizing our efforts," Lisa said. "Much like we've done for Lincoln as of late, we'll treat our other siblings with an abundance of our kindness as well."

And the proposal had time to absorb in their heads, it didn't take long for the other four to admit that, yes, that was a simple yet solid idea. But then again, why else _wouldn't_ it be, given how it came from such a genius like Lisa?

"Sounds like a plan, sis," Lynn said.

The other happily murmured their agreement, leaving Lisa with the task of divulging her plan. "So, this is what I propose…"

* * *

_**LATER THAT EVENING…** _

* * *

Twisting and turning in his bed, Lincoln miserably contended with the spell of insomnia that just wouldn't go away.

Though his body was wearied from the day he had, his mind was as active as ever. It refused to grant Lincoln the sleep that he desperately needed after voluntarily enduring his sisters' smothering all day—their intentions in all of this were causes that he just _had_ to get to the bottom of.

What the heck was going on with them? It was as clear as a spotless wine glass; they were really trying to be nice to him. That didn't need require much brainpower to figure out. The only thing left to find out was the "why".

But along with that "why", there was a "what" that demanded as much attention; _what_ _was he going to do about them?_

He had one immediate answer to that question, but he tried to deny that path for as long as he could. Eventually, though, as the sleepless night dragged on, he was forced to accept what his heart had told him was for the best.

For now, there was only one thing that he felt that he _could_ do and that was to keep his mouth shut; he felt like doing otherwise, voicing any complaints against his sister's kindness, would be no better than kicking a sleeping kitten down a flight of stairs.

At this point, he was no longer even the slightest bit jaded about his sister's actions. Sure, what they were doing was kinda weird…and annoying…and confusing…and creepy…and…well, he got the idea. The point was, there was no way that this was a simple matter of it being "that time of the month". He could tell that his sisters were genuinely happy to treat him with their brand of affection, and that didn't deserve to be called out as a bad thing in his mind.

The smiles they had, the eagerness of their actions…Lincoln could trust that there wasn't anything that they were hiding from him anymore, something sinister and dark beneath the surface. Obviously, they had a mission in mind, and it was one that probably involved collusion between the five of them, but all he could believe was that they just wanted to act nicer towards him—no strings attached.

Again, he didn't have the heart to tell them to knock it off, even by a little bit. He wasn't a stranger to enduring his sisters' annoying tendencies, so doing the same for more benevolent tendencies was just something that he'd have to get used to.

With that itch scratched, Lincoln sat up and peered through the darkness to make sure that his door was locked. When he saw that it was, he sighed a breath of relief, laid back down, and closed his eyes.

' _Good,'_ he thought. _'The last thing I need is any of them sneaking in here to make sure that I'm sleeping okay.'_


	4. Chapter 4

The piercing, mechanical cries of Leni's phone alarm rang under Leni's ear, the noise muffled by the pillow that acted as a sound-nullifying barrier. At first, the grating chirps did nothing to help Leni do much except stir and grumble, but eventually she was shaken out of her sleep cycle. With a few sleepy murmurs and minimal straining, Leni was finally able to reach under her pillow and press the button to silence her alarm—a task that was ingrained deep enough in her brain to pull off while she was only half-awake with her sleeping mask on.

Afterwards, she let out a dainty little yawn, still too drowsy and lethargic to do much else after just waking up. She had a wonderful dream last night, and she was almost sad to see that she'd have to leave it behind to start a brand-new day of school.

' _Aw, and I was so close to giving my licorice kitty a bop on the nose,'_ Leni thought as she brought her hands up to peel back the sleeping mask from her eyes.

With quick precision, she took a hold of the mask, swiped it off, flung it over her head…

…and stared face-to-face with a grinning Lori, who was leaning in up close while she stood at the side of her sister's bed.

The unexpected sight, which was unsettling on its own merits, caused Leni to let out a little shriek as her eyes bugged out of her head.

"Hey, Len-Len!" Lori chirped, seemingly not taking notice of her little's sister's fright.

Leni's hammering heart slowed and her nerves were soothed over by the feeling of confusion from the greeting.

"Who's 'Len-Len'?" Leni asked, furrowing her eyebrows and pointing to herself. "I'm Leni."

A few seconds ticked by before she began to question her statement, and her eyes widened. "Or...am I?"

Lori laughed and brought a hand over to Leni's face to softly pinch her left cheek, oblivious to Leni's indignant scowl from the gesture.

"It's a nickname, you silly-willy goose!" she teased as she jostled the flesh lightly in her grip.

By the time Lori had let go, presumably to do something _else_ while acting crazier than a bowl of "Kooky Krisps", Leni began patting her mouth and quickly looking over her arms.

Leni frowned. No beak, no feathers, and last time she checked, she _didn't_ honk; she was no goose, silly-willy or otherwise!

Before she could set Lori straight, though, said sister came back to her bedside, waving her phone in her hand excitedly.

"Oops, I almost forgot!" Lori said.

Lori shrugged. "Forgot wh-"

"Sister selfie!"

Before Leni could even blink, Lori swooped in, pressed her cheek up to Leni's, held her phone up in front of their faces, and pressed the photo button after flashing a big grin. The blinding light flashed out in an instant, stinging Leni's eyes before she could close them.

"Too bright! Too bright!" Leni cried as she used one of her arms to rub at her aching eyes.

Once the twinge had subsided to tolerable levels, Leni peeked an eye open and instantly realized that her vision was still a little blurry. Regardless, she could see that not only was Lori oblivious to her plight but that she was too preoccupied making goo-goo eyes at her phone and giggling, as if she had seen Lily doing something cute.

"This one's gonna be a keeper," Lori said as she casually tossed her phone over to her bed.

The act knocked the breath out of Leni, almost as if she was swiftly jabbed in the gut. Lori waking up bright and chipper was one thing, and Lori taking selfies with her was nothing new, but if there was one thing that Leni knew that her big sister would never, _ever_ , do, it was treating her phone so carelessly.

But before she could voice her concern, Lori beat her to the punch with a statement of her own.

"You know something, Leni?" Lori asked, her hands clasped in front of her as she rocked back and forth on her heels.

Instantly, Leni's head hung down and she frowned, recalling something hurtful that her genius sister had said to her about a week ago. "According to Lisa, not a lot."

Expecting Lori's next words to be something along the lines of an actual response to her reply, she was taken aback, though flattered with what Lori had to say next.

"I think you look adorable in sky blue," Lori said.

Leni's sadness vanished in a microsecond and returned the smile that Lori had been giving her all this time. "Really?" she asked, her eyes sparkling.

Lori nodded. "That's why…"

She quickly ran over to her closet, rummaged through it for a few seconds, and returned to Leni with an armful of outfits. _Her_ outfits, a wad of her sky-blue tank tops underneath her arm.

"…I'm letting you wear my clothes," Lori said as she plopped the pile of clothes by Leni's feet, completely missing her dumbfounded expression. "I'll still wear them too, but honestly, they look _so_ much better on you than they do on me."

Leni's eyes, unlike immediately post-selfie, were fine now, so the fashionista was forced to arrive to the one outcome that she thought she'd never _see_ from Lori in a bajillion years—her sister, who was always adamant about her never letting her so much as _touch_ anything from her wardrobe, was cheerfully giving her permission to try out her clothes.

Leni was almost tempted to slap herself to see if she was still sleeping; this _couldn't_ be real. The selfies, the clothes, the _really_ creepy grinning…the last time she remembered feeling _this_ icky was when she decided to try out crocs for the first time. Like, worst decision ever.

"Lori," Leni said, her teeth and lips clenched in a nervous grin, "I don't think you need to-"

She was cut off when Lori erupted in a happy squeal that stung at her eardrums and made her grimace.

"7:06!" Lori exclaimed as she pointed at her analog alarm clock while bouncing up and down like a sugar-crazed rabbit. "You know what that means?!"

"T-time for a shower?" Leni both asked _and_ hoped; she really didn't need Lori to do another…

Uh-oh.

Leni whimpered when she saw that Lori had ran over to her bed and picked up her phone.

"Sister selfie!" Lori cried before springing into action.

* * *

Lisa shuffled over to her babbling baby sister, who was looking over the edge of her crib at her older sister intently. Upon looking down at the object she had in both hands, Lily began to squeal in delight and clap her hands; she could recognize that Jack-in-the-Box anywhere.

"Here you are, my precocious infant sibling," Lisa said as she placed the toy next to Lily, who immediately took interest in it and started slapping the top with one hand and giggling.

"I've upgraded your Jack-in-the-Box with a Peek-A-Boo animatronic that interacts with you upon triggering the mechanism," Lisa said.

Even with her underdeveloped brain, Lily could get the gist of what Lisa was trying to convey to her. Now, instead of haphazardly jostling the toy around, she was now peering at it from all angles, trying to detect the anomaly that Lisa was referring to.

"Poo?" Lily said as she poked at the crank with her finger.

Lisa chuckled and leaned forward to peck Lily on the head. "No, no, Lily. Not poo; _boo_. As in 'Peek-A-Boo'."

Giving one last glance at her sister, who was now slowly but surely turning the crank, Lisa said, before departing from their room to head to the shower, "Well then, I'm off to prepare for another rousing day of public education. Have fun with your new toy."

What Lisa didn't manage to see or hear, after closing the door behind her, was the sound of Lily's crying; it turns out that babies did _not_ appreciate a wired, robotic clown popping up out of the box and droning "Peek-a-boo!" over and over again while it stared at its "victim" with its bright red eyes.

* * *

It had been two minutes now and Lana remained motionless, as if her limbs were paralyzed. She had been like this ever since she woke up; her first reaction was to gasp in shock and what followed was her body's refusal to move as her brain was trying to both process the new development that her eyes feasted on and cope with the horror before her.

Even with her eyes glued forward, she could still see a certain pageant winner by her bedside, flailing her arms around animatedly while she wore her award-winning smile.

"Isn't it great, Lana?!" Lola cried. "I woke up half an hour before you and made sure your room was all sparkly and clean for you!"

Lola, much to Lana's dismay, was true to her word. Not a speck of mud or dirt could be seen anywhere, none of her dirty clothes were scattered all over the floor, and all her trash was as good as gone.

Heck, even her skateboard was polished and repainted; not a trace of its battle scars or smidges were left.

But, sadly, Lola wasn't quite done with her "good news".

"And check this out," Lola said as she rushed over to Lana's reptile tank and came back a few seconds later—this time, with a familiar face. "I even gussied up Hops and gave him a tiny little top hat. Isn't it cute?"

Besides squeaking out a tiny cry out of her unmoving, agape mouth and her right eye twitching, Lana didn't make any movements, an observation that didn't knock Lola off her stride.

"That's okay," Lola said as she placed Hops down beside Lana. "No words of gratitude are necessary."

With that, she leaned forward, gave Lana's cheek a kiss, and skipped towards the door to head to the bathroom.

"Bye now!" Lola sang, leaving her frozen-up twin to relish the early morning atrocities that knocked her for a loop.

The sound of the door slamming shut finally got Lana to snap out of her stasis, allowing her to let out a groan of despair:

" _Whyyyyy_?"

* * *

Luna was _not_ having a good time right now.

After waking up, besides the fact that Luan had already gotten up before her and was slipping into her yellow skirt, the first thing that the rocker realized was that her neck was _throbbing_ with pain. It didn't help that the ache flared, no matter how slightly she turned her head.

After the last pang of soreness shot through her neck, she hissed through her teeth, causing Luan to look up at her roommate after she had tied her hair into a ponytail.

"Something wrong, Luna?" Luan asked, shooting her sister a concerned look.

Luna clambered down the bunk bed, being careful to do so without twisting her head around too much.

"I'll say, dude," Luna grumbled once her feet touched the floor, and she faced her sister. "Either all that headbanging practice last night is catching up to me or I slept on the wrong side of the- _ow_!"

Another slicing jolt cut through her nerves like they were made of butter, and Luna winced as the pain ebbed enough to let her speak. "In any case, my neck's stiffer than rigor mortis."

Luna, not really knowing what to expect as a response, took in Luan's big, eager smile with interest. There was a plan brewing in that head of hers, but she didn't know what she was going for.

"Not to worry, Luna," Luan said as she wiggled her fingers. "I know just the thing to take care of your neck."

Luna smiled, thinking that she knew where Luan was coming from.

"Really? Thanks, Lu," Luna said and sat down on her beanbag, waiting for Luan to give her neck a good rubbing.

"No problem," Luan said as she walked over to her prop trunk. "Just sit there and let my friend handle this."

Luna reeled back a bit as a perplexed frown settled over her face. "'Friend'?"

Luan didn't answer, choosing to open her trunk and rummage through it while Luna looked on in confusion. Needless to say, this was _not_ what Luna was expecting when it came to a neck massage. Was Luan getting some cream or ointment or whatever, that being the "friend" she was referring to? If so, then why was she looking through her prop trunk? Luna thought better than to think she was trying to pull a prank on her; Luan wouldn't be _this_ open about the set-up if she was.

And speaking of odd behavior, there was still that matter about her, Lori, Lynn, Lola, and Lisa at dinner yesterday. In a rush to get her homework done before today, Luna had forgotten to ask Luan what _that_ was all about—they were being weird with Lincoln and if that had anything to do with what Luan was doing _now_ , then she'd have to-

"'Massage Therapist Coconuts' at your service!" Luan exclaimed, pulling out her beloved ventriloquist dummy while simultaneously pulling Luna out of her thoughts.

All Luna could manage to utter was a low, elongated, "Uhhhhhhhhh…"

Seeing Mr. Coconuts wasn't anything new, but with what Luan had just announced, it implied that she was planning to have the dummy—stiff, wooden hands and all—knead her sore neck.

As if sensing Luna's tension, Mr. Coconuts—through Luan's doing, of course—assured, "Don't worry, sugah! These hands were made for kneadin' and that's just what they'll do!"

Dread slithered through Luna's belly like a wet, slippery noodle, but she braced herself, choosing not to make a run for it. Luan was just looking out for her…with an approach that was a bit too unorthodox to call rational.

But still, what was the worst that could happen?

She got her answer when Mr. Coconut's rough hand sank into her flesh and muscles. Her yelp of pain didn't deter Luan from continuing.

* * *

Meanwhile, what Luna didn't notice was her younger brother looking on at the scene through the open bedroom door.

He sighed, shook his head, and made his way downstairs. That was the _fifth_ unpleasant observation that he had picked up on since waking up, and they all revolved around his erratic sisters giving their respective roommates a hard time.

"This is getting way out of hand," Lincoln muttered under his breath.

* * *

Around half an hour later, Vanzilla was almost completely full. Only a few of the Loud children weren't accounted for, but for nearly half of the ones who _were_ present, they were in sully moods.

Despite Lola willingly giving up the "Sweet Spot" for her sake, Lana wasn't pleased at all. Looking out at the neighborhood through the passenger window, she bore a grumpy scowl as she folded her arms and did everything in her power to ignore Lola, who wouldn't stop staring at her with her creepy, annoying grin.

Leni, who was riding shotgun, wasn't very pleased either. Her eyes were _still_ blurry after the last "sister selfie" that Lori, who was sitting right beside her (or…maybe it was her mother; her vision wasn't very reliable at the moment), subjected her to and that was three minutes ago. At this rate, she'd be lucky to spot another "half-off sale" tag ever again.

Luna was in the foulest mood out of anyone present. Thanks to Luan's intervention, her neck felt like it was tied in knots and those knots were tied into even smaller knots and then _those_ knots were…well, she got the picture. The point was, 'Massage Therapist Coconuts' was better off as 'Woodchipper Chow Coconuts' as far as she was concerned. Now, she couldn't do much more than look straight ahead—not even the tiniest twitch of her head would spare her from another sharp thrust of needling, burning pain.

Because of her predicament, she couldn't turn around to see who it was that entered Vanzilla. She had an idea who it was when that person sidled up beside her to buckled up in the empty seat next to her—thanks to the wonders of peripheral vision, she could spot a mop of black hair and a frown that suggested that Lucy was miserable…

…er, _more_ miserable than usual.

If Leni and Lana's moods were telling, then Luna thought she had a good idea about why Lucy was so agitated. But, even with the other sisters preoccupied in either waiting for Lori to leave or striking up conversations with each other—Lynn, Luan's, and Lisa's backrow chitchat being the most cordial—Luna thought it best to keep her voice down; inquiring about Lucy's possibly troublesome roommate was sure to start trouble if her words could be intercepted by someone other than Lucy.

"Hey, Luce, you're not lookin' too good," Luna whispered, taking care to lean down without twisting her neck. "Lemme guess, you had a rude awakening too?"

Luna crossed her arms as her casual frown was replaced with a scowl. "Sigh," she whispered back. "If you call your roommate violently combing your hair a 'rude awakening', then yes. My scalp feels like it got tenderized like a steak."

"That sounds way better than what 'Massage Therapist Coconuts' did to me," Luna said, recalling a particularly painful jab that Mr. Coconuts administered to the base of her neck.

Lucy's eyebrows raised in astonishment, though Luna couldn't tell because of the hair. "Do I even want to ask?"

Luna sighed. "Not unless you wanna hear a story that's too scary for even someone like you."

"Hey, guys," called Lana, who was still giving Lola the silent treatment in the hopes of angering her, "does anyone know what's keeping Lincoln? He's running late."

After she said that, some of the sisters checked their phones and realized that, yes, Lincoln was cutting it rather close. With Lori's strict policy about punctuality, she only allowed a three minutes and fifteen seconds grace period for anyone who hadn't arrived before the appointed time. After that, she would leave them to make it to school on their own.

By now, Lincoln had only about two minutes left to go before Lori would get fed up and drive away in a huff. Lynn, Lisa, Lola, and Luan seemed unconcerned with what Lana had said while Lucy, Lana, and Luna were at the edge of their seats, hoping that Lincoln would arrive before Lori would drive off without him.

Meanwhile, Leni just snorted. "Lana, don't be silly," she said as she pointed to the left corner of the backrow of seats. "He's sitting right there."

Thankfully, Luna didn't have to twist her neck to look behind her to see if she was right or not; she _knew_ for a fact that she was way off.

"Dude, that's Lynn," Luna said.

Leni chuckled sheepishly. "Oh. Uh, sorry, Lynn. My eyes are kinda bad right now. Like, during breakfast, I accidentally used the wrong end of the fork on my sausage."

Lynn laughed, though her tone clearly showed that she wasn't being mocking her. "S'alright, sis. I don't mind being mistaken for my awesome little brother."

Lana, who was still a little worried for her brother, checked her phone again and had another grim report to tell. "It's almost been three-and-a-quarter minutes, guys."

Luna clinched her fists nervously. _'C'mon, bro. Put your pedal to the metal and get here already.'_

But alas, Luna's willpower couldn't make Lincoln materialize into Vanzilla by the time three minutes and fifteen seconds had passed.

Lucy, Luna, Leni and Lana sighed, knowing that there was no use trying to talk Lori out of giving Lincoln just a little bit more time. Any second now, Vanzilla would be screeching out of the driveway, heading towards their respective schools.

…

…

…

Except, it's been another full minute now, and Lori hasn't gone anywhere. What gives?

"Lori?" Lana asked, looking at the eldest Loud sister through the rear-view mirror.

Lori looked back and flashed a grin at Lana, the likes of which were almost as unsettling as the one that Lola was _still_ giving her.

"Yes, Lana?" Lori replied, batting her eyelashes.

Lana cringed at the gesture. "Why haven't you left already?"

Lori looked back at Lana with a look of bewilderment, as if Lana had a second head growing out from her neck…

…and then threw her head back as peals of laughter rang out. She found her voice through her merriment after the laughter ended after a good ten seconds.

"We're waiting for Lincoln, of course," Lori said, wiping a tear from her eye. "We can't leave without him."

Leni, Lana, Luna, and Lucy collectively gasped. They weren't ones to look count a blessing as a curse, but they thought that nothing short of Bobby proposing to her would get Lori in a good enough mood to overlook her punctuality rule; who was this girl and what did she do with Lori?!

They didn't have a chance to draw any conclusions as the sound of the sliding door opening, along with panting and wheezing, caused everyone to turn towards the source of the noise. Sure enough, there was Lincoln, bent at the waist while his hands clasped at his knees. He gave himself another five seconds to catch his breath before he entered the van and took the empty window seat next to Lucy.

"I couldn't find my other shoe," Lincoln said, his breath labored from exhaustion. "Turns out, Charles snuck off with it and chewed it up in his doghouse. It took me nearly twenty minutes to get it back from him."

He then looked at the back of Lori's head, too afraid to see her expression through the rear-view mirror; even with her streak of "niceness" lately, Lincoln wasn't about to take her tolerance for granted.

That's why Lori's response surprised not just Lincoln, but Leni, Luna, Lucy, and Lana as well.

"Aw, that's okay!" Lori said. "Thanks for trying to be punctual, Lincy!"

Again, Lori's behavior forced Leni, Luna, Lucy, and Lana to try and wrap their heads around Lori's complete 180°. As if yesterday at dinner wasn't weird enough, now Lori was practically acting like Mother Teresa…

…except they were pretty sure that Mother Teresa didn't smile creepily at people. Add to the fact that their respective roommates were also behaving pretty bonkers this morning, and that left them with a mystery that was pretty gosh darn annoying—both because they couldn't come up with an answer that made sense and because while they were left in the dark, dealing with their roommates' actions was aggravating to say the least.

"Okay, everyone," Lori said, "before we get on the road…"

Lori pulled out her phone from her pocket and waved it at Leni, who gulped as her pupils dilated—she didn't need good vision to see what was coming.

"Oh, Len-Len?" Lori sang.

Leni groaned. "Oh no."

"Sister selfie!"

* * *

_**LATER THAT AFTERNOON…** _

* * *

Lincoln's room could feel pretty darn cramped when more than three people were in it, but Leni, Luna, Lucy, Lana, and Lily managed to make it work.

After coming back from school, Lincoln had gone to them and asked them to meet him in his room later for an "urgent matter". They didn't have any idea what Lincoln was proposing, but for now, they would just wait for Lincoln to arrive and tell them himself.

While Leni sat in Lincoln's chair, bouncing a happy Lily on her knee, Lucy sat Indian-style on the floor. Meanwhile, Luna sat on the edge of Lincoln's bed, sighing happily as Lana stood up on her knees behind her as she gave her neck a _proper_ kneading.

" _Oooooh_ , right there," Luna moaned, her tongue nearly flopping out of her open mouth. " _Yeeeeeeeah_ , that's the stuff."

Lana's ministrations continued for another eight minutes before she pulled her hands away, leaving a content Luna with a neck that was still a little stiff and sore, but not nearly as aching as it was before. She gave it a test run by turning her head and smiling at Lana—an action that only prickled her with a tiny jab of discomfort.

"Thanks Lana. I always knew you were handy, but not like this," Luna said.

Lana gave her a thumbs-up and moved back to lay across Lincoln's bed while her head rested on his pillow.

"At this rate," Lucy said, "we're _all_ gonna need massages to unwind because of the way some of our sisters have been behaving lately. I attempted to drive out whatever evil spirit is making them act like lunatics, but none of my talismans or incantations have had any effect on them. I guess the cause isn't anything supernatural."

At the mention of her twin sister, Lana glowered as she looked up at the ceiling.

"Well, whatever it is that's making 'em go bananas, we'd better get rid of it soon," she said as she folded her arms behind her head. "When we came back from school, I caught Lola trying to teach Hops how to cakewalk! Can you believe that?! Hops is many things, but he ain't a cakewalker!"

Meanwhile, Luna was beginning to grow weary of waiting for Lincoln. Granted, she really didn't have anything better to do, but that didn't mean that she was fond of waiting around longer than she needed to.

"Say, when's Lincoln gonna show up?" Luna asked. "You'd think that he'd be here by now, considering that this little meeting was his idea."

"Who knows?" Leni replied as she let Lily down to go toddle around on the floor. "But on another note, Luna, I'm really concerned about you."

Luna's eyebrow arched up. "Why?"

Leni lips formed a disapproving frown. "Because you've lost, like, a _lot_ of weight. And you've shrunk too. I think you need to see a doctor."

Luna was quick to offer a confused expression to the ridiculous notion that Leni was giving her…

That is, until she saw who, or rather _what_ , Leni was addressing. Luna tried her best to repress her amusement with tight lips, but her efforts proved futile as a few snorts and snickers came out.

"Leni, you're looking at a lamp," Luna said.

Leni took a few seconds to process both Luna's words and her line of sight, straining her hazy eyes to focus. To her dismay, she realized that Luna was right on the money. She could only shrug helplessly as her cheeks began to glow pink.

"Your vision _still_ isn't any good?" Lucy asked, a little smile of her own forming.

"Not really," Leni said, her face etched in mortification. "Lori kept taking selfies with me throughout the school day. Because of her, I nearly walked into the boy's bathroom, right in front of Chaz too!"

Then, another thought came to mind and it forced Leni to reconsider.

"At least, I _think_ that was Chaz," Leni mulled while tapping her chin. "That might've just been my biology teacher. Either way, it was totes embarrassing."

By now, Luna was no longer amused. Leni's story was a grim reminder about what some of their sisters were doing to them. Thankfully, since she and Luan went to different schools, she didn't have to worry about Luan annoying or embarrassing her, but it was only a matter of time before she would try to make her mark with…whatever it was she was doing.

"Well, I don't know about _you_ guys," Luna said, sliding off the bed and rising to her feet, "but I don't think I can put up with another day of this. First, it was with Lincoln at dinner yesterday and now, they're giving us a hard time. They're my family, and I love 'em, but I'm goin' off the rails on this crazy train of theirs, and I don't like it one bit."

The other murmured in agreement, but that was as much as they were allowed to do before the door flung open and interrupted their groove. They all looked towards the open door and smiled.

"Wincoln!" Lily cried.

"Sorry I'm late, you guys," Lincoln said, closing the door behind him.

From the look on his face, he was a tad miffed, and Lana had an inkling as to why.

"Let me guess, Charles took your _other_ shoe?" Lana asked.

Lincoln blinked. "Actually, he did," he said, impressed that Lana was on the mark. "How'd you guess?"

"Guess I'm just that lucky," she replied, then sighed as her thoughts drifted to the plight that was affecting her and everyone else in the room. "Too bad we're not as lucky with our crazy sisters."

"Preachin' to the choir on that one, dude," Luna said.

"Anyway, why'd you bring us here, Lincoln?" Leni asked.

Lincoln, deciding to make up for lost time, got to the heart of the matter as quickly as he could while he had everyone's attention.

"Well, I think it's painfully obvious that we have a serious sister problem on our hands," Lincoln said, "For whatever reason, Lori, Luan, Lynn, Lola, and Lisa are being super nice…or at least, they're _trying_ to be super nice."

"Yeah, try super 'annoying'," Lana chimed in, her remark earning a few scattered mutters of agreement. "I don't know what's gotten into 'em, but we need to put a stop to it."

"I agree," Lincoln said. "At first, I was willing to put up with them, but now that they're giving _you_ guys a hard time too, I can't just let them do as they please anymore."

Lincoln groaned when he realized that what he was about to say next was most likely not going to be given lauding approval, but he felt like he had to say it.

"But the reason I wanted to talk to all of you is because I don't think that we should tell them that they're getting on our nerves," Lincoln said.

As he predicted, his five sisters immediately gave him pointed looks.

"What?" Leni asked.

"Seriously?" Luna asked.

"Why not?" Lana asked.

"Poo-poo!" Lily objected.

"You _can't_ be serious," Lucy said.

Lincoln continued, doing his best not to cave under the pressure.

"It'll hurt their feelings if we tell them the truth," he explained. "Like it or not, they're clearly trying to be better people, and we shouldn't make them feel bad for it."

That simple line of reasoning extinguished the indignation that each of the five sisters felt about the proposal. It was true; through thick and thin, they loved their family. Plus, even though they hadn't considered their behavior as "being nice", once they stopped to think about, they supposed that what Lincoln was saying _did_ have a kernel of truth to it.

Still, that didn't mean that they were completely satisfied with the idea of not telling them the truth. Luna was the first to speak up about that discontentedness.

"So, what're we supposed to do? Just let them bug us to death?" Luna asked.

Lincoln grinned and shook his head. "Nope," he said. "In fact, we're gonna bug _them_ to death."

Leni threw her hands up to her cheeks and gasped in horror before she glowered at her brother. "Lincoln!"

Lincoln rolled his eyes and grinned. "Metaphorically speaking, Leni."

Leni's aghast expression dissipated as she let out a sigh of relief. "Oooooooh, okay."

…

…

…

"That's the opposite of 'literally', right," Lincoln?"

"Yes, Leni. Yes, it is."

It didn't take long after that for Lucy to jump in with a new objection.

"But what's annoying them supposed to accomplish?" Lucy asked.

Lincoln turned to the goth, his grin turning into an eager smile as he felt himself brimming with conviction.

"If we get on their nerves long enough," Lincoln said, looking at his sisters as he talked, "there's no way they can keep up this 'nice' act of theirs. That way, they can stop the madness on their own, and we don't have to hurt their feelings."

Lincoln watched as once again, his five sisters gave his words some thought. After about a minute, they all looked up at Lincoln, their expressions making Lincoln's smile grow even wider—they all looked like they were in on his plan!

"Well, when you put it that way," Luna said. "I guess you make a good point."

The others echoed her sentiments with nods, stirring Lincoln into letting out one final declaration before he officially initiated his scheme.

"Then, let's annoy the pants off our sisters!" Lincoln cried.


	5. Chapter 5

Lynn carried both good intentions and a chocolate protein bar as she walked up the stairs en route to her bedroom—where her goth sister was sure to be, writing her little black heart out.

The only thing keeping Lynn's spirits from ascending the clouds was the fact that she hadn't thought of doing this sooner than now; what kind of "nice" big sister let their little sisters suffer the cruel, vexing hand of writer's block for as long as she had?! She should've realized that providing Lucy with brain food was not only proper but necessary for her literary brilliance to go on uninhibited! Sure, she wasn't _completely_ sure that Lucy was going through a dry spell right now, but that didn't mean she could rest on her laurels by assuming that she could go on without her big sister lending a hand.

' _Gotta do better than this next time around,'_ Lynn thought as her bedroom door greeted her at last. Oh, how she couldn't wait to see Lucy's little frown unfurl and morph into a grin at her generosity!

With eagerness guiding her haste, Lynn opened the door, a bright smiled adorning her freckle-splotched face.

And that's when she saw _it_ , flashing over her head and around her body in the blink of an eye—the most she could discern was a black, overlapping mass of wings and…teeth(?) before she dropped to the floor (accidentally flinging the protein bar away as her arms flailed about) and cried out "Woah!" over the screeches and flapping that ceased in the breadth of a few seconds.

The silence permitted Lynn's waning courage to look up and scope out the matter at hand for herself…

…a decision that she instantly regretted as soon as she saw the source…or rather, _sources_ of the disturbance, hanging upside down from every corner of the ceiling.

"W-what the-?!" Lynn cried, finding enough resolve to put a cork on the expletive that would've come out had she not been granted the wherewithal to stop.

That resolve, however, couldn't prevent her heart from fluttering wildly—threatening to burst through her chest, her hands from shaking, or her teeth from chattering.

 _Bats_. Oh goodness, did Lynn _hate_ bats. Those small bodies, those sharps, needling fangs, those beady little eyes blinking…staring…slicing through her like a scalpel…

Lynn felt her stomach twist in knots, her bile bubbling. She needed help and _fast_.

"Lucy?!" Lynn cried, shutting her eyes to avoid that stare of those winged beasts hanging menacingly overhead. "Lucy, where are you?! We've got a bat infestation in our room!"

"Oh, it's no infestation," came a lowly, Lucy-toned whisper next to her ear.

Lynn didn't even flinch. Ordinarily, Lucy popping up behind her (or always being there in some cases) would cause her to reel back in surprise, but she was too relieved with the hope that she could use those spooky bat-taming powers of hers to cause the bats to disperse and fly away with the snap of her fingers.

Unfortunately for her, those hopes were dashed when Lucy simply stepped in front of her and simply said, "It's a party."

"A…p-party?" Lynn stammered.

This time, she felt that she could afford to at least look Lucy in the eye, seeing as how she was around to ensure that those devilish little demons couldn't cause her any harm. Her uneasiness was further quelled when she saw that Lucy was smiling, a rare gift that Lynn took every opportunity to appreciate before it dissolved as quickly as they usually came.

"Fangs invited some friends over for his friend's girlfriend's quinceañera," Lucy said.

"You, uh…" Lynn swallowed to keep her bile from gushing out at the sight of one particular bat craning its head whilst staring at her. "…y-you don't say?"

"I do," Lucy replied. "I hope you don't mind."

It was there and then that Lynn realized that she was at a crossroads; she could forsake her sister's happiness for her own benefit or she could just suck it up and deal with a nuisance out of love.

The answer came to her as soon as she took a look at the little grin on Lucy's face again; it was her job as a "nice sister" to protect her joy before her own and even with those blood-sucking monsters looming around, she'd still see that mission through.

"A few bats? No sweat," Lynn said, feeling pride in how those bats now felt more like a minor inconvenience rather than a crippling source of fear; she had to grant Lucy's happy expression for that boost of courage.

Which is why it felt all the more dispiriting (not to mention confusing) when that smile vanished, leaving behind a frown in her wake. Lynn's cheerfulness buckled; shouldn't Lucy be doing the _opposite_ of that?

"By the way," Lucy said, her words forced out with a sheen of annoyance in her tone, "I hate to tell you this, but I think your trophies are covered in bat guano."

* * *

' _There's no way she won't be annoyed by that,'_ Lucy thought as she watched intently for Lynn's patience to chip away.

Even if her revelation was a little bit of an exaggeration, she still couldn't help but take pride in how much it seemed to affect Lynn. Try as she might, the jock couldn't hide her fists balling into twitchy nubs, her teeth clamping behind an angry frown she was trying to keep at bay, and her eyes squeezing shut to supposedly hide the fiery shade of red that drenched in her pupils.

This was it. Any second now, Lynn was gonna blow her top. Lucy would've felt a little guilty, what with how easy this whole thing was, but if it meant she could have the old Lynn back, she would go as far as to…to…

…okay, hold up. _What_?

Was she seeing things or was Lynn no longer seething? Was she hallucinating or was Lynn no longer grimacing? Was her brain messing with her was Lynn…was Lynn at peace with herself?

Again… _what_?

"Not to worry. I'll just clean it up later," Lynn said as she turned to walk away, that smile of hers insisting on staying plastered on just to spite her. "Have fun with Fangs' friend's girlfriend's quinceañera. I'm gonna go grab a popsicle."

Lucy could only watch as her older sister skipped (since when did Lynn _ever_ skip?) away, leaving her to mutter the only phrase that could adequately spell out the frustration from her failure:

"Dang it."

* * *

_*thunk*_

Lisa grumbled underneath her breath, feeling the bruise in the back of her head throbbing after her cranium was greeted with yet another one of Lily's toys, courtesy of the aim and ill intentions of the baby sister herself.

It had been like this for about ten minutes now. Lisa was just minding her own business, attempting to extract lithium from a few lithium batteries at her desk, when the first assault occurred. A building block was Lily's weapon of choice at the time, and it was soon followed by another building block, her binky, a toy plane, a diaper (mercifully clean), and just now, her fake plastic phone.

Though Lisa wasn't exactly pleased with how Lily was behaving, she had to consider the factors at play that led her to draw the only logical conclusion that could explain what was happening—both her insistence and her snickering suggested that Lily was having a wonderful time using her sister's head as target practice.

Why? Lisa couldn't say for sure, but she wasn't about to let her sister's merriment go off without a hitch; no "nice sister" worth their sodium chloride wouldn't permit their baby sister to have their fun, would they? That's why, after taking about a minute to rub the aching sore spot on her noggin, Lisa scrambled off her stool, picked up the toys that were littered around her feet, and placed them all back before the stunned infant.

"Here you are," Lisa said, greeting her sister with a smile. "May your shenanigans resume without fail."

She turned around to get back to work, missing Lily's contemptuous scowl in all its pouty glory.

* * *

Once again, Luna was the loudest Loud in the house, jamming with her instruments at the highest level that both her amp and her parents would permit.

However, this time around, she was switching things up a bit and maybe, _juuuuuuust_ maybe, this change of pace was a cleverly designed ploy, utilized to get under the skin of a certain ponytailed roommate of hers.

But then again, it was just a "maybe".

"I hope you don't mind me and my polka jams, Luan!" Luna shouted over the deafening electric accordion music that both her skilled fingers and her amp were ensuring were playing as loudly and as annoyingly as possible for an audience that was captive by their promise to hear her "latest inspiration".

Out of all the things that Luan hated in the world, polka music nearly topped the list. Only butterscotch pudding, dead crowds, and crickets surmounted that hatred and just _barely_. Luna knew that even with Luan's newfound patience in the works, she couldn't keep this up for long without snapping; the way she dug her fingers into the beanbag chair she was sitting on belied the "goodwill" from that forced smile on her face.

"You like what I'm hashin' out, sis?!" Luna taunted again.

Luna's inward grin slipped into an anxious frown when for the first time since her torment had begun, Luan responded with a much forward positive response than what she had done so far—a few tiny nods, sure, but the message that Luan was giving her was anything but tint: "I'm not gonna buckle!".

"Really?!" Luna replied, donning a cheeky grin. "Because _accordion_ to my observations, you don't seem to be enjoying yourself!"

Feeling her arms and fingers tiring from the maniacal improv that was starting to become grating to her own ears as well, Luna hoped that her pun-based jab would work in getting under her skin; she didn't know how long she could keep this up. The last thing she needed was for Luan to respond with more positive reinforcement.

Which is why Luan didn't even budge under the taunt. Had Luna's hands not been preoccupied, she would've facepalmed herself at her lack of foresight; of course, Luan wouldn't find reason to be annoyed if someone was speaking on her level! Stupid, Luna! _Stupid_!

"Of course, I am, sis! I love me some polka!" Luan chirped as she jabbed a finger into a respective dimple that were further accentuated with her widening grin. "See? I even have my _polka_ face on for the occasion!"

That did it. Her aching muscles were crying out for relief, and that horrid pun broke through Luna's fragile determination. With one last drawn out press against the F-sharp key, Luna dropped her instrument of torture out of her exhausted hands, not caring how sharply it landed against the floor. Her weary pants filled the air, but the noise was soon joined in by the sound up uproarious applause.

Before Luna flopped down on the floor in a tired heap, she was beginning to wonder if there was a chance that maybe, _juuuuuuust_ maybe, if Luan was onto what she was trying to do, her exuberant request for an encore was her idea of getting back at her.

But then again, it was just a "maybe".

* * *

Leni wasn't quite sure what it was that annoyed Lori whenever she constantly asked for her opinion on her wardrobe (didn't Lori like to be relied on?), but the fashionista knew that she could use that tendency of irritated blowouts to her advantage. Add to the fact that she had the perfect arsenal to her advantage, that being her newly acquired assembly of sky blue tank tops, and Leni was sure that Lori would be foaming at the mouth as she was bombarded with questions like:

"You like this one, Lori?"

"Or what about this one?"

"Or this one?"

"How about this one?"

"Hey, Lori, what'd you think about this one?"

"Or…maybe that one?"

"Or this?"

"Or that?"

"Perhaps this?"

"Perhaps that one?"

"Doth this garment pleaseth thee?"

The cycle of ceaseless inquiries continued well past the point where Leni thought that Lori would snap at her, but Leni wasn't about to quit just yet.

She didn't need to, in fact, since before she could ask if her thirty-eighth tank top was good enough for her to wear, Lori finally looked away from her magazine, jumped off her bed, walked over to Leni, and held a finger up to her mouth.

All signs pointed to success, but even with victory seemingly at hand, Leni could do nothing but take in the consequences of her actions all at once; even if Lori's expression of neutrality wasn't a discernible one, it'd only be a matter of time before it crumbled away and her temper was unleashed on her in a tirade for the ages.

Leni gulped. A "shouty" Lori was a scary Lori, but if Lincoln and the others thought that this was for the best, then she couldn't find it in herself to do anything else but wait for Lori's inevitable rant.

"You know what, Leni?"

Leni didn't have the chance to whisper out a timid "What?" before Lori spoke again...

…only calmer. And was that a smile too?

"I think _all_ of your new outfits look really cute on you," Lori said as she reached into her pocket.

By the time Lori had dug all the way in, Leni was already slowly backing up, knowing exactly where she was going with this. Her fears were affirmed when Lori pulled out the 5.44 x 2.64-inch terror that had been bugging her all day.

"We should take some selfies with you wearing every last one of them right now!" Lori squealed excitably, bounding towards Leni with a pep in each step.

"A-actually," Leni stammered, the vision of another horrid selfie flashing before her eyes. "I gotta see a dog about a man! Er, I mean, I dog about another dog! I mean, uh, I just…um…I-I think I hear the refrigerator running! I gotta go catch it!"

With that, Leni made her narrow escape, bolting out of her room with haste.

Well, actually, the "escape" was hardly narrow—that would imply that Lori actually bothered to give chase. Instead, the eldest Loud sibling merely shrugged her shoulders, picked up her magazine, and continued where she left off once she got back to her spot on the bed.

She'd be sure to tell Leni about the _actual_ capabilities of a refrigerator once she came back.

* * *

The twins' bedroom was oft-described as a warzone, a battlefield where the resident combatants would duke it out over differences of both the petty and irreconcilable kind. This would result in both sides being torn asunder after the brawl of sisters was said and done.

This time around, however, the bedroom was in a mess for quite another reason. Lincoln and Lana took it upon themselves to gather up as much sticky, gooey mud as their buckets could carry and smear it on just about every last piece of Lola's furniture while Lola wasn't there. They even went the extra mile and slabbed some of her stuffed animals in the icky substance.

There was no way that Lola wasn't going to go ballistic over this. In all honesty, Lincoln found these measures to be a little extreme, but given how the others had failed to make his sisters crack, Lincoln figured that triggering the ire of the six-year-old girl with the most volatile temper on planet Earth was of the utmost priority—perhaps, Lola's bitterness would spread through the ranks and get the other four to come to their senses.

"Hey, Linc?" Lana asked, looking down at her phone.

"What's up, Lana?" Lincoln replied, applying a few more splotches of mud on Lola's vanity mirror.

"Lucy just texted me; Lola's gonna be here in about a minute."

Lincoln diverted his attention to Lana in a hurry. "Quick, get in position!" he said.

Lana, having memorized what Lincoln had rehearsed with her several times, did just that as she hopped onto Lola's bed and shielded herself with a mud-drenched pillow. Meanwhile, Lincoln packed up a ball of mud from one of the muddy buckets and posed in front of Lana, looking like he was about to hurl another projectile her way.

The wait didn't last long as in about twenty seconds, Lola waltzed in the bedroom, blissfully unaware of the bedlam that her older siblings had caused.

That is, until a good two seconds had passed, and she gasped at the sight before her. Meanwhile, Lana and Lincoln had to do their best to retain their composures, as if Lola had caught them in the middle of having a blast.

"Oh, hey, Lola!" Lana waved from behind the pillow.

Lincoln look over his shoulder and grinned innocently. "We were just having a mudball fight and man, did it get really messy in here or what?!"

"Your canopy bed was a great fortress, by the way!" Lana added, peeking her head over the pillow.

Silence followed her cheery retort as the mud-slinging duo patiently waited for Lola to snap. Lincoln noted how eerily catatonic Lola was behaving; she was just staring blankly at them, almost as if she was mentally contemplating the most painful way of dishing out her vengeance before she lunged at them with bloodshot eyes and fingers just itching to get a few (hundred) punches and scratches in.

But instead, Lola spoke in a tone that was empty of any of the fury that either Lana or Lincoln were expecting.

"I…can't believe you'd do this to me," Lola said, her lower lip beginning to quiver.

Said quivering quickly spread through her upper lip, trembling into a formation that made Lana and Lincoln gasp.

"How come you guys didn't invite me?!" Lola cried as she raced towards a mud-filled bucket, giggling with a giddy smile for all to see.

Too stymied to form a coherent sentence, let alone a thought, Lana and Lincoln just stared back at Lola, disbelieving what their eyes were beholding; Lola was willingly dipping her arms into the chunky filth, procuring a glob of muck in each hand.

"Well, come on! You guys waiting for an invitation or something?!" Lola teased as she unveiled her weapons of choice. "Let's have some muddy fun!"

Nothing, not even a cold, slimy mudball to the face, could get Lincoln to get out of his trance. Nothing had worked so far. _Nothing_. It was at this point that Lincoln started to feel things beyond the shock of the present situation.

Dread. Concern. Worry. Lincoln was contending with each emotion behind the veil of his rigid face. If he didn't do something about them and soon, there was a chance that he'd never get his sisters back, sisters who were willing to just be themselves.

With dinner time just around the corner, Lincoln knew that he'd act quickly if he wanted to try his luck again; he couldn't exactly pull of his current operation with his parents watching their every move at the dining table.

But just then, another through crossed his mind, and it presented him with a gleaming sign of hope: why hurry when you can wait until _after_ dinner?

For the first time since Lola's uncharacteristic behavior began, Lincoln smiled as the gears of his brain were already working into a new foolproof scheme that he was sure would get results.

Unfortunately, his smile was just big enough for an incoming mudball to fly directly into his mouth.

* * *

_**LATER THAT EVENING…** _

* * *

Lincoln never thought that he'd ever be thanking one of Luan's inventive pranks for what he and his conspiring sisters were up to now.

He, Luna, Lana, Lucy, and Leni excused themselves from dinner early, leaving the rest of their family behind to chat and dine in their absence. Lily was a part of the plan too, but she didn't have to come right away; her role would be coming into play later. For now, the others were busy at work, constructing a slingshot at the top of the stairs.

Much like Luan had done on April Fool's Day three years ago, she used a large rubber band and hooked both ends around the knobs at the top of each banister—effectively making a giant slingshot. She then used that makeshift slingshot to chuck buckets of chum and garbage at unsuspecting victims.

What the quintet were doing was practically similar, except they decided to go with balloons filled with yellow paint as their ammo. While Lincoln tested the elasticity of the rubber band, the others were busy at work, filling their ammo bucket with balloon after balloon. Lana and Luna didn't seem to mind what they were doing, but it didn't take long for Lucy to go against the grain and voice her concerns once she walked up to Lincoln, making sure that he saw her coming.

"Lincoln, are you sure this is a good idea?" Lucy asked once she finally approached her brother.

Lincoln groaned, annoyed at the uncertainty that Lucy had presented him.

"Trust me, Lucy," Lincoln assured, "if _this_ doesn't send them over the edge, then _nothing_ will. We're gonna blast 'em so hard, that they'll stop being 'nice' for an eternity."

It was as if her anxiety was contagious because Leni was the next to speak up, leaving the others to manage the ammo bucket duty on their own.

"Lincoln, I-" Leni began to say before Lincoln cut her off.

"Leni, do you wanna go blind?" Lincoln asked, folding his arms and casting her a stern frown. "Because that's _exactly_ what'll happen if Lori doesn't get over her selfie craze."

Leni just sheepishly rubbed her arm and looked down, avoiding his flinty glare altogether.

"I-I mean," Leni murmured, "I could just ask her to-"

"Poo-poo! Poo-poo!"

Everyone perked up. Lily, their stool pigeon, had just given them the signal that their targets were fast approaching.

"That must be them!" Lincoln shouted in a hushed tone as he looked back at his accomplices. "Get into positions everyone!"

While the sisters manned the bucket, slipping it into place in the middle of the slingshot, Lincoln peered over the top step and watched as Lily, who sat next to the stairs, was given lavish attention by Lori, Luan, Lynn, Lola, and Lisa. Lynn, who was busy lifting Lily up to give her tummy raspberries, failed to notice Lily looking up at her brother, and giving him a nod.

As soon as she did, she slipped out of Lynn's arms, and made a dash for the dining room. Once she was out of the way, Lincoln gave the order to deploy the ammo with a loud shout of "Now!"

As soon as the word slipped out, the "nice" sisters looked up just in time to see a hailstorm of balloons raining down on them. Screaming and splat noises filled the air, and Lincoln couldn't help but shut his eyes as the onslaught continued. He couldn't tell how long it all lasted but alas, with one final splat, Lincoln knew that the carnage was done. Slowly peeling his eyelids open, Lincoln wore a triumphant grin at what his eyes came across: the targets dazed and confused, looking at the mess that had befallen them. He'd pat himself on the back, but Lincoln was too busy admiring the damage that he knew would cause his sisters to…to…

Lincoln paused his victorious inner monologue as his eyes widened, realizing what had just happened.

Or better yet, what _hadn't_ happened.

"What?!" he cried, banging a fist against the floor. "How'd they _all_ miss?!"

His accomplices joined him, looking over the precipice and realizing that Lincoln was indeed correct. Their ammo had certainly made their mark, but _not_ where they wanted. Instead of any of the paint landing on the sisters, it had covered just about every square inch of their immediate surroundings; the ceiling, carpet, front door, walls…everywhere _but_ whom they were aiming for.

And, just to make matters worse, Lincoln felt a stabbing chill jam its way into his heart, nearly freezing the blood in his veins at what he was hearing: footsteps. _Two_ pairs of footsteps.

Lincoln started to shake like an autumn leaf blown in the chilly wind. He had completely forgotten about adding his parents into the equation, but there wasn't a chance he was going to forget how they were going to react once they stumbled across what he and the others had done.


	6. Chapter 6

Lincoln was a deer in the headlights, his body frozen in fear as his heart beat in cue with the angry footsteps that were fast approaching. He was sure that Leni, Lucy, Lana, and Luna were in the same boat, seeing as how _they_ didn't bother to move, either.

The window of time to obey either side of his fight-or-flight response was quickly closing in, but the boy's brain was locked into a state of paralysis, dooming him to neither confront the incoming conundrum head on or flee the scene before his parents could spot him.

It didn't help that the equally as petrified "nice" sisters were smack dab in the middle of the inbound parental tempest (as well as splatter after incriminating splatter of yellow paint), their faces etched with frightful expressions that appealed to Lincoln's kinder instincts—but try as he might, as much as he wished to cry out words of comfort, a plea for a retreat… _anything_ , his heavy breath strangled his dry throat further, cramming down any words from coming out.

And then his heart sank into his gut when the footsteps ended; his mother and father appeared on the scene, indignation and anger etched across their crimson-splotched faces. Had their gazes not been fixed on them but on _him_ instead, Lincoln swore that his insides would've churned enough to make him throw up.

Rita was the first to speak, and the targets of her ire flinched before she could utter a syllable.

"What is this?!" she cried, gesturing towards the front door, which was nearly caked entirely in a shade of bright yellow.

Lynn Sr. marched over to the bottom steps, and Lincoln nearly stumbled backwards—he thought his father was about to lunge up the stairs towards him, but he only headed in that direction to jab a finger towards those sets of stairs, the brown finish hidden under the wet, clumpy layer of yellow paint and balloon shreds.

"How did all this yellow paint get on our walls, stairs, and carpet?!" Lynn Sr. shouted.

He only allowed a few seconds of silence from a lack of an immediate reply before he stormed back to his wife's side and mirrored her movements, arms folded and faces glowering in the direction of the innocent party.

"Wait!"

All eyes were centered on the source of the outburst as it rushed down the stairs to enter the fray—there was no way that Lincoln could stand by and watch anymore. Seeing his innocent sisters having to endure getting thrown under the bus, because of him, spurred his actions before the cowardly part of his mind could tell him to do otherwise.

Once he reached the bottom step, his shoes sloshing into the paint as he did, Lincoln leapt in the space between the huddled sisters and his seething parents. Even now, locking eyes with them sent Lincoln's pulse up several beats, but he willed his wobbly legs and knocking knees to stay put.

"Mom, Dad, it's not what you think!" Lincoln cried, his arms shaking as he spread them wide, as if to shield his sisters from harm. "The truth is, it-"

"Was me!"

The "confession" caught completely off guard, rendering him speechless and immobile as he watched Lori come into view, standing in front of him in what Lincoln could only surmise was an effort to return the favor and shield _him_.

"I did it! It was all me, Mom and Dad!" Lori said, her voice wavering with pleading desperation.

To make things even more confusing for Lincoln, Lori was quickly joined in by Lynn, who took a stand next to Lori.

"M-me too!" Lynn said. "I helped!"

At this point, Lincoln was beginning to find his voice, but that didn't matter—even if he could say anything else, he was beaten to the punch by three other voices, all of which assembled next to either side of Lori and Lynn.

"I figured this house needed a makeover," Lola said, clasping her hands behind her back while her head bowed.

"I assisted the tomfoolery as well," Lisa said, fidgeting in place.

"I thought it'd be funny," Luan said, chuckling weakly.

Rita and Lynn Sr. took only a moment to take in each of the sister's lies and reach a decision, missing out on how their son was trying to literally push his way back into the front of the conversation.

"Well, I hope you girls enjoy cleaning on your hands and knees because that's exactly what you're going to do until every spot of paint is gone," Rita said, her tone deathly calm and twice as intimidating as her raised voice.

"And for whatever part of the mess you can't clean up yourself," Lynn Sr. added, his rare sternness sending tremors through the children, "we'll make sure to take the necessary amount of money out of all five of your allowances to pay for the new paint and carpet cleaning services."

Rita finished it off with the final blow, turning to leave with her husband in tow.

"And on top of that, you're all grounded for a month," she said, heading to the kitchen to grab some rags and buckets.

"But…b-but I…" Lincoln whispered, watching as his appeal for justice crumbled through his fingers like dust.

Just the same, even with the bitter taste of guilt swishing around in his mouth, Lincoln found some solace in the fact that Lola, Lori, Luan, Lisa, and Lynn decided not to confront him—he didn't think he could manage to look at their disappointed faces without collapsing on the floor and bursting into tears.

Instead, the punished five, their heads drooping and feet dragging, shuffled in a single file line where their parents had gone…

Leaving Lincoln alone to silently survey the damage he had caused to both his home and to his own blood. His part in all of this was crystal clear to him; he didn't make them take the fall for him, but even so, it all felt the same as intentionally exploiting their kindness and altruism for his own benefit—after all, there'd be nothing to cover up if he hadn't made the bed for them to possibly lie in in the first place.

He wasn't a stranger to his plans blowing up in his face like, but _this_ failure went well and beyond a simple setback. Now that the sway of desperation and confidence had drained completely out of him, he dwelt on the fact that there was no way for his scheme to have a happy ending. He obviously knew what failure tasted like but what if he had succeeded? What if those balloons _had_ hit true? _Then_ what? Five of his sisters who, as far was Lincoln concerned, were only trying to be better people, get their thanks with a barrage of paint-filled balloons and the scorn that each projectile carried within?

What…what kind of brother was he? What on Earth was wrong with him?

"What've we done?"

It was the sullen voice of Lucy that snapped Lincoln out of his wallowing. He looked to his left and saw that Luna, Leni, Lana, and Lucy had joined him, gazing around at the mess that they had created. Lincoln didn't need to have ESP to know that their minds were marinated in the same guilty thoughts as them, since their faces told him everything he needed to know—poor Lana looked like she was on the verge of tears.

"We blew it, dude," Luna replied. " _That's_ what we did."

"I'm pretty sure we 'yellow'd' it, Luna," Leni said, the silliness of her statement doing nothing to undermine the genuine sadness that she felt.

Lincoln growled in frustration; his heart couldn't take anyone else feeling sorry and hurt for what he had orchestrated.

"No," Lincoln said firmly. " _I_ blew it. We should've just told them to cut it out from the start. Yeah, it might've hurt their feelings, but at least it'd be better than them being punished for what we did."

"Yes, but we still went along with your plan anyway," Lucy said as she held Lana in a hug, letting her sobs be muffled into her dress as she hid her face and wept. "We're just as much to blame as you."

Lincoln was about to reply with the contrary, but he realized that arguing over semantics was going to get him nowhere, especially when the others didn't bother to deny Lucy's claims. They could argue back and forth all night long about who was and who wasn't to blame, but it wouldn't get them anywhere. If they were willing to stick together and admit that they, too, were guilty, then they would hopefully be in line for what he had to say to them next.

"Guys?" Lincoln asked.

He immediately earned the looks of Lucy, Luna, and Leni—Lana joined them as soon as the last of her tears came out and she felt composed enough not to cry any further.

"I know this is really asking a lot, but could you all trust me to go along with one last plan? I promise that it's much better than the dumb ones I've been making all day."

The thing that gave Lincoln that opinion was the fact that _this_ plan wasn't bred from the thrill of outmaneuvering and outsmarting, from abandoning morality with the prize as the only objective. No, this time…this time, it would be different and it would be for the better.

As if they sensed this for themselves, the sisters smiled at their brother.

And Lincoln smiled back. He thought it almost every day, but the sentiment was more apparent than ever; he really _did_ have the best dang family anywhere around.

* * *

Fifteen minutes passed until Lincoln decided to make his move. He didn't wait out of keeping in line with a time constraint for his plan; he simply needed to summon the courage to pull off his role.

' _I just hope they're too mad at me,'_ Lincoln thought as he left his room to reach his destination, knowing full well that what he was wishing for was something that he neither deserved nor found to be plausible.

All the same, he kept his head held high as he walked towards the stairs. He fought against the urge to pause by the corner and peer at all the manual labor his sisters were tasked with, anticipating the chance of him chickening out once he got the chance to stop himself in his tracks.

But as he rounded the corner and treaded softly down the steps, he almost wished that he had taken a moment to collect his thoughts because the sight he saw nearly broke his wounded heart into pieces all over again.

His sisters were down on their knees, their skin scraping roughly against the carpet bristles as they sprayed and wiped away at the paint that stubbornly clung into the fibers. Each grunt of discomfort and exertion stabbed Lincoln in the chest, and it forced his steps to grow heavier and louder as he bounded down the stairs quicker, drawing the focus of the sisters.

Lincoln froze, stopping over halfway down as soon as he inadvertently got their attention before he could prepare himself. Locking eyes with their eyes petrified his limbs into stone, keeping him rooted. Their gazes were glossed over with something that Lincoln found indescribable, perhaps a concoction of just about every negative emotion that Lincoln felt they were holding in right now.

Whatever it was, it sent a cold shiver down his back and settled in his gut.

"Hey," Lincoln said. "So…u-um…"

He paused after he noted how their faces had shifted; from expressions traced with a sheen of sadness and confusion to glares fueled with ire. Lincoln found his voice once he looked away from them to stare at the blots of paint on the ceiling.

"C-could you guys help me with something?" Lincoln asked, cringing when he felt a cold sweat beginning to form and trickle down his neck. "There's something I need you to do for me."

_*clunk*_

Lincoln squeaking, jumping up a bit from the sound. He quickly looked back down at his sisters and saw Lynn, standing on her feet with her arm outstretched towards the soapy water-filed bucket next to her—Lincoln guessed that she must've thrown her wet rag into it, producing the noise that nearly startled him out of his wits.

"What? You got _more_ balloons for us?" Lynn asked, her glare more pronounced.

"Don't forget to account for the trajectory so they'll be sure to hit their designated targets this time," Lisa said.

"What's in the new ones?" Luan asked. "Garbage? Puke? Our torn-up homework assignments?"

Lincoln couldn't lie, each of those remarks hurt and he made no bones about showing it. All the pain did was remind him how stupid he had been all day; _this_ is what he wanted from his sisters all this time? And in his own words, "for an eternity"?

Lincoln sighed. "I deserved that," he said. "But seriously, just hear me out, okay? I know I'm asking for a lot, but it'd really mean a lot to me if you did."

Lincoln watched with bated breath as a new development instantly took place; instead of immediately shooting him down like he had thought they'd do, the girls huddled together, whispering in low voices to each other. Whatever it was they were discussing, however bad it may be for him, Lincoln was willing to take it all without a fight.

But still, he _really_ needed them get stop cleaning up and join him upstairs. His plan couldn't work if their stubbornness and commitment to their "nice" crusade was going to keep them locked under the punishment that they didn't deserve.

Finally, Lori broke the silence once the huddle dispersed, leaving a row of ticked off sisters to glare at Lincoln once more.

"Fine," Lori said, rolling her eyes. "Let's take a break for now, girls. Let's hear what our brother has to say for himself."

* * *

Like most sibling interventions and meetings, the conversation took place in Lori and Leni's room. Lori was quick to notice that her roommate was nowhere to be found, but quickly abandoned any further mulling once her little brother called everyone's attention. Lori soon joined the rest of her sisters, who were sitting on her bed while Lincoln stood in front of the dresser.

"Look, I am so sorry about what we did you today," Lincoln said, his face cinched in a miserable-looking frown. "The paint balloons, the mudball fights… _everything_. It was really mean, and we shouldn't have-"

"Why?!" Lincoln's monologue was halted the instant Lola shouted over him. "Why've you and the others been so mean to us today?! We were just trying to be nice! Why else do you think we took the fall for you?!"

Lincoln nearly shed a tear, seeing Lola's cute little face twisted in the sorrow and pain that he and his other sisters had caused them. Lola was usually this indignant and loud over petty reasons, but Lincoln knew better than to think of the situation as petty, just to give himself a way out from the thrashing that guilt was dealing him right now.

"But that's the thing," Lincoln muttered softly. "You were being…"

"Being what?" Lynn snapped.

Lincoln grinned sheepishly. "Y-y'know, a little _too_ nice."

His confession took the blustering winds out of their sails as their anger began to slowly seep out of them. Utter confusion took the reins now, coaxing Lori to ask, "What'd you mean 'too nice'?"

Lincoln felt himself growing calmer and more confident to move on, now that he wasn't stared at from five sets of furious eyes.

"Well, what I mean is, you've been acting so nice lately, that it's been getting on everyone's nerves; the nicer you act, the more annoying it gets for the rest of us."

And that's when Lincoln felt his insides pelted with even more twinges of guilt; if seeing their angry faces was a painful, then seeing them feel utter shame in themselves was _excruciating_.

"I'm sorry," he continued. "That's why I went with the whole 'paint balloon' route; I just wanted you to snap at us, and then you'd hopefully stop. That way, I wouldn't have to tell you that you trying to act 'nice' was annoying, and I wouldn't have to hurt your feelings."

By the time Lincoln was finished, he quickly became acquainted with how bitter those last few words tasted. Right now, his sisters looked more hurt than any time he could remember, and it was mostly because of him.

"Some sisters we are," Lisa said.

"No wonder we're the 'mean sisters'," Lynn said, her head resting against her open palms as she slouched forward. "We couldn't pull off being 'nice sisters' if our lives depended on it."

Now, it was Lincoln's turn to be befuddled. He was right to think that they were just trying to be nice, but all that other stuff? It just didn't add up.

"'Nice sisters'? 'Mean sisters'? What the heck are you guys on about?" he asked.

Lynn shook her head and sighed. "You don't have to play dumb with us, Lincoln. We know everything."

Lincoln just shrugged. "Know _what_?"

"We know how you think about us," Lori explained, slightly irritated at what she thought was her brother's false claim of ignorance. "None of us think that we're 'mean sisters', but _you_ clearly do. That's why we were trying so hard to get you to love us just like you love the 'nice sisters'."

"We all know about the list," Lola added.

Belabored with even more confusing circumstances, Lincoln asked, more forcibly than intended, "List? What list?"

In response, Lynn pulled a balled-up piece of paper from her pocket, uncrumpled it, walked up to Lincoln, and held it up to his face.

" _This_ list," Lynn said, allowing Lincoln to take it out of her hands so he could read it up close for himself. "I found it in your room when I was looking for your earbuds."

"Ring any bells?" Luan asked, as Lynn took her spot on the bed again.

Even through the creases and slight smudges of sweat and dirt on the paper, Lincoln could make everything out perfectly clear. And like Luan had alluded to, bells were _definitely_ ringing in his head as he recalled the events that led up to the list's creation in the first place.

"Yeah, it's all coming back to me now," Lincoln said. "The funny thing is, I could've sworn I tossed this list out with the others. Guess I must've stuffed it in my drawer absentmindedly."

"'The others'?" Lisa asked.

Lincoln nodded. "Uh-huh. Remember the time when we all swapped roommates? Well, when I got paired up with Lily, I hated the arrangement, and I tried to make a new one that would suit all of us. Naturally, I slotted myself into a room for one, since it's obvious that having no roommate fits better for me than the rest of you."

Despite everything, Lincoln couldn't help but snicker at the questioning glances that last statement got.

"Anyway," he said, "I tried new creating rooming arrangements based on hair color, height, GPA, weight, fashion choices, etc., but I soon realized that nothing I was doing was working. But then, I thought, 'Why don't I try grouping my sisters into two sets, and then see if I can make a new pairing out of those groups?'"

A lightbulb went off in Luan's head. "And one of your ideas was the whole 'nice'/'mean' sister thing?"

Lincoln could feel tension in her voice from her suggestion and hastily scrambled to put an end to any sprouting implications would only make them feel bad all over again.

"Yes, but it's not what you think!" Lincoln said. He calmed down before he spoke again. "When I wrote down 'nice' and 'mean', I didn't really mean 'nice' and 'mean', per se. What I _really_ meant was 'passive' and 'aggressive'."

He flipped the list over and pointed at one spot that his sisters followed with their eyes. "See? I even put quotation marks around 'nice' and 'mean' because those were the first words I could think of, but they didn't mean _exactly_ what I was trying to go for."

Once again, Lynn slid off the bed, this time to walk over to Lincoln and take the list back for herself. Once she did, she immediately look down at those two words and realized...

"He's right," Lynn said after only a second, handing Lincoln the paper back.

Lola waited for Lynn to take her seat again before she said her piece. "Okay, but that still doesn't answer why you labeled us like this."

Lincoln rubbed the back of his head nervously. This was certainly going to take a little bit of explaining, and he wasn't sure if he could do that without feeling like a complete idiot. That didn't stop him from trying, anyway.

"See, I thought that with our old pairings," Lincoln said, "each room had a 'passive' sister and an 'aggressive' sister and because of that, the chemistry was off; I thought that naturally, an 'aggressive' sister should be paired up with another one and a 'passive' sister with another one, right? Y'know, to keep the other in check?"

Lincoln felt his cheeks burn from shame from the blank stares he was getting; they were no doubt judging him for how stupid that "logic" sounded, and Lincoln couldn't be mad at them for thinking that—he felt the same way, after all.

"So, instead of 'mean', you meant 'aggressive'?" Lori asked, her voice dripping with incredulity.

"Yes," Lincoln replied, "but after thinking about it, I realized that that was a stupid way of grouping you guys together too. First of all, there's five in each group, meaning that there would have to be one room with a 'nice sister' and a 'mean sister' in it, which would defeat the whole purpose of what I was going for."

Lincoln stopped from speaking further when he noticed Lisa snickering, her mouth hidden behind her hands—no doubt, she was amused by the fact that he had made such an obvious mathematical blunder without spotting it right away. Still, if anything, her jovial response urged a grin to form on Lincoln's face; at least one of his sisters seemed pleased with themselves and that counted for something in his book.

"Second of all, and most importantly," Lincoln continued, letting his list fall out of his hand to flutter to the ground, "last time I checked, _all_ of us have aggressively tried to get what we want from each other at one point, whether it's a car seat or a quarter underneath the couch cushions."

On his trip down memory lane, Lincoln stumbled across as thought that caused him to chuckle. "Oh yeah, and you all were pretty aggressive when you tried to get me to go to either Alola Beach or Dairyland. None of you were pulling any punches that time, either."

His infectious chuckling got some of his sisters to join in. Only Lynn and Lola refused to partake, but Lincoln took what he could get, figuring that it was imperative for his next words to sink in and mean something to them. Before he did, though, he closed the distance between him and his sisters, until he was only about a footstep away from walking into Lori's bed. Thank the heavens they didn't flinch away in disgust; Lincoln didn't know if he could recover from such an outward display of revulsion.

"The point is," Lincoln said, tenderness speaking through every word, "none of you are just one thing, and I should've never treated you like you were. You all have different tendencies and qualities that define you, and there's no way that anyone can just stamp a label on you like that and call it a day."

He hung his head, unconsciously averting his eyes from the way his sisters were taking his words in. "And I, of all people, should've known that better than most."

He shook himself out of his bogging self-pity and managed to look back up before he proceeded. For the most part, his sisters looked like they weren't resisting him, but he couldn't be too sure. And even if they were disbelieving to him, he had way more too say than what he had already confessed.

"But anyway, after I realized how stupid I was being, I just gave up on writing up new rooming arrangements entirely. Even if there was a right way to do it, I wasn't doing it the way I should've. And do you wanna know why? It's because I never accounted you for who you are as people. Instead of thinking about you for everything that you are, I boxed you in all nice and neat to make things easier for myself. None of you are 'nice', 'mean', 'passive', 'aggressive', whatever. You're not perfect, but hey, nobody is. And besides, you're still the best sisters in the world, and if anyone says otherwise, they're insane."

To Lincoln's surprise, he not only felt a tear slide out of his eyes, but he gasped in shock when he realized that his sisters were doing the same thing, albeit to different degrees.

Lori had a hand clasped over her mouth, muffling her sobs as she freely let tears flow without restraint.

Lola did something similar, though, instead, her fingers were dabbing her moist eyes while a flattered smile graced her face.

Lisa had her glasses off and was holding her hand over her eyes, tears slipping through the tiny cracks of her laced fingers.

Lynn was using the corner of her jersey to brush away the wetness on her tear-stained cheeks.

Luan's eyes were glistening with unshed tears that had yet to dribble out. That changed when Lincoln spoke up again.

"I'm sorry my dumb list made you feel bad about yourselves," Lincoln said, his voice crackling as a few tears came out. "I know it's a kind of a copout answer to give, but I love you all equally, and I don't think any less of you than my supposed 'nice sisters'. All of you are my family, and…and…"

Lincoln couldn't hold himself back anymore. The dam broke and he fell to the floor on his knees—by now his face was drenched in his tears.

"I'm the luckiest brother in the world for having every single one of you in my life!" he wailed.

Lincoln wasn't taking in his surroundings, what with him openly weeping without restraint, which is why he was taken aback when he felt pairs of arms and warm bodies holding him from all angles. The surprise was enough to stop him from crying, and he cracked an eye open to affirm his conclusions—his sisters were hugging him tightly, crying their eyes out just as loudly as Lincoln was before.

Surprisingly, the sight and sound of their weeping didn't make Lincoln sob again; he was too busy being happy with the knowledge that his sisters no longer felt inadequate about themselves, feeling as though they had to measure up to some preposterous standard.

They knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that he loved them equally and that's all that mattered to him.

* * *

About ten minutes later, all six children were calm and collected, feeling relief from everything that had happened. Once the crying had ended, the sisters whisked themselves away to a corner of the room to once again, talk amongst themselves. Lincoln respectfully kept his distance, smiling as the happy atmosphere washed over him like a relaxing, hot shower. Overall, this went way better than he thought and though he wasn't quite done with his plan yet, his sisters wanted the floor first, and he'd give them that much.

The huddle dispersed and the sisters returned to the middle of the room where Lincoln was patiently waiting.

"It means a lot that you think of us that way, Lincoln," Lola said, "but we're still not gonna stop being nicer."

Lincoln tilted his head in confusion, feeling a sprout of remorse creeping through his spirit. Didn't they just learn that they were fine just the way they were? Why did they feel the need to continue to overcompensate?

Lori answered the worst of his fears with her own statement.

"Yeah," she said. "We're really sorry that we were overbearing, but we can't let things end like this. Just because we're not 'mean sisters' doesn't mean that we can't be _better_ sisters in general."

At that, Lincoln let out his hitched breath, calming down in an instant. Okay, if _that_ was what they were going for, then he could let that slide without any worry.

"We'll still try to be nicer, but we promise that we won't go overboard," Lynn added.

"Indeed," Lisa said.

Lincoln smiled. "I can live with that."

The only one not to share any similar sentiments was Lola, who appropriately asked, "So, what happens now?"

Lincoln's grin grew bigger. Now, it was _his_ turn to spread the good news.

"What happens now is that you girls get some rest while the mess gets cleaned up," he explained. "The 'nice sisters' and I are gonna fix what we caused. That's why I had you come up here; while we talked, I had Leni, Luna, Lucy, and Lana fess up to what we did. I'm sure you're off the hook now, and they're probably cleaning up all that paint as we speak. I'll be joining them in a bit."

His announcement earned the satisfied smiles of… _most_ of his sisters. For reasons Lincoln couldn't understand, Lynn and Lola weren't looking so happy.

"Well, that's all well and good," Lola said, "but what about my side of the bedroom? Thanks to a certain twin sister and an older brother of mine, it's better off as a pigsty now."

"And I'm pretty sure that Lucy got bat guano on more than just my trophies," Lynn grumbled. "There's no way my bed's any good."

Luan's face brightened, the telltale sign that the opportunity for a joke had come to her.

"Last time I checked," Luan said, suppressing her giggles while she playfully poked Lynn in the ribs with her elbow, "the person sleeping in the bed's supposed to be pooped, not the bed itself!"

Luan couldn't keep from laughing and neither could Lynn. Once their laughter died down, Lincoln took his moment to speak again.

"You could both bunk with me while those messes get cleaned up too," Lincoln offered. "I know it's not much, but it's the least I can do."

Lola and Lynn looked at each and exchanged approving nods. Lola looked back at Lincoln and smiled.

"Why thank you, Lincoln," she said. "How very nice of you."

With that, Lincoln bid his sisters a good night before he turned to leave the room…

…until a pressing thought made him stop.

"Oh, I almost forgot," Lincoln said, looking back at where he had stood a little while ago. "It's time to take out the trash."

Sure enough, there was his list, one of its corners sticking underneath Lori's bed. He walked over to it, picked it up, and gave the paper a hard scowl before he started tearing the list to shreds. The pieces sprinkled onto the floor in a heap, and Lincoln scooped it up, walked up to Lori's wastebasket, and dumped the paper inside.

"There," Lincoln said, dusting off his hands as his sisters cheered. "Now, we can officially put this 'nice sister'/'mean sister' garbage behind us once and for all."


End file.
